This is a partial reading of the second chapter of my life (Voices in the Wind) The second decade of my life, 10yrs. to 20 yrs. old moves quickly to the dark side but pales in comparison to what awaits me in my 3rd and 4th decades and beyond!
DECADE
OF DARKNESS
All this happened to me in early spring, 1952. I got on the bus the next morning and Valerie was sitting with one of her girlfriends… No room for me…. I never sat with her again….In class, we never wrote another love note to each other…I was sad all day. everyday in class, When I looked at her I wanted to cry! L Edwin and Earl knew I was really heart broken and didn’t tease me about it. It wouldn’t be until the next school year before I would find out what made Valerie break up with me...One of her girlfriends made me promise not to tell Valerie that she talked to me.… I promised! She said: “Ronnie told Valerie that you were telling all the boys that you and her were “screwing” in the orange groves all the time!” I was absolutely shocked when I heard this! I hardly knew Ronnie and seldom talked to him much less say something like that to him! I told this story to Edwin and Earl… Edwin got so pissed off his face turned red! He said: Barry, if you want, we’ll get Ronnie after school and beat him up… we’ll beat him up bad, you, and me and Earl!! It was tempting but I knew that would just get us all in trouble so we didn’t do it. Back to spring, 1952. Even though I was sad over losing Valerie, I still had Duke, Edwin, And Earl. We kept doing things together everyday, so at least I didn’t have a lot of time to be depressed. It was during spring break in late April, 1952…. Edwin told me and Earl that some kid in school told him that if you went down to the end of Mountain Ave. It ends and you can go right out into the desert! Well, Mountain Ave. was about a mile from where we lived, plus, we didn’t know how far down Mountain Ave. we would have to go to reach the end! What to do, what to do!! So far our whole world was confined to the orange groves….And that world was…. A very huge world! We were happy out there, the groves were everything to us! Our imaginations saw to that, and one thing little boys have plenty of, is imagination!
It was an uneasy feeling thinking about exploring new and unfamiliar territories! But not to Edwin! He was in fact more adventurous than me and Earl put together! After all, He’s already traveled around half the world!! So he was really excited about this, So we all knew…… We knew we were going to expand our boundaries beyond anything we could have ever imagined! Early one morning, still during spring break, Earl and Edwin came riding up to my house on their bikes. I was just finishing my chores. I jumped on my bike and we took off for the end of Mountain Ave. It was probably another mile, maybe a little more to reach the end. But there it was! There was a “dead end” just like what used to be at the end of my street. We stopped at the end and looked out into a vast, endless looking wilderness! This was the real thing! It was uncharted, unknown, uncultivated, and very desolate looking! Well, it was all that to 3 little boys anyway! J There were no trails left by cars or trucks. There were no irrigation pipes to give us water. No fruit trees we could go to for food. We just stood there looking out into an unknown desert. It was frightening to think about what might be waiting for us in a land we knew nothing about! The mystery, the danger, the excitement of the unknown, it was intoxicating! We all looked at each other and smiled…. We didn’t have to say it out loud….Even Duke could sense the silent decision we all came to that day….We knew we were all going into the “Desert of Doom!” And…. We were going soon! But first we had to prepare, to make plans, so we wouldn’t die in the desert!
So, first of all, the 3 of us knew
we could not tell our parents where we were about to go. Mom knew how I was and
she gave me a lot of freedom but this was going to be to far and to dangerous
for her to ever allow me to do this! So, we came up with a plan. We told our
parents that we wanted to ride our bikes up to Northview elementary school…(the
school we would be attending in the sixth grade) We said there’s going to
baseball games all day sponsored by” Little League Baseball” and we wanted to
go and watch the games, we will be home around 7:00PM …Our parents bought the
lie! Now, we knew we were going to be gone all day, we needed food and water.
The morning we headed for the desert it was around 7:00AM. We rode our bike to
Euclid, turned right toward the wash. We stopped just before the wash right at
the north boundary of the orange groves. We hiked into the groves a little ways
until we found some oranges ripe enough to pick. We picked four oranges each
and headed back to our bikes. Edwin, being an army “Brat” had a canteen full of
water. He also had a small army duffel-bag….We put everything in the
duffel-bag. We were as ready as we were ever going to be! They both had their
B-B guns and all three of us had real hunting knives. The unknown was calling
to all of us! Even Duke knew something different was about to happen! We
crossed the wash and rode on to Mountain Ave.
And turned right. Once again, we were standing at the “dead-end.” Only
now our young hearts were pounding with excitement! We walked our bikes past
the dead-end and into the “land of the lost!” We laid the bikes down and
covered them with dead bushes. I looked at Edwin and Earl and said: “What if we
get lost?” Edwin smiled and said: “We won’t get lost, I’ll make sure of that!”
I trusted Edwin and somehow I knew he wouldn’t have said that if he didn’t mean
it.
We looked back beyond
the “Dead-End,” One last look at civilization…. And headed into what would
prove to be the adventure of a lifetime for 3 little boys still in the fifth
grade and afraid of nothing!! Duke was beside himself! So much to see, so many
new scents to sniff out, he was so excited I had to laugh! J It was easy to see,
Duke was afraid of nothing either! We didn’t go very far into the desert when
Edwin said: “Grab some rocks!” We all did. We made a small pile of rocks and
moved on…. Pretty soon we did it again, then we did it again! Edwin finally
said: “Once we find one pile of rocks, we can find the next and the next, this
will lead us back to our bikes and home! I thought, that is so cool! We
wandered through the desert all day… It was incredible! If there was and end
somewhere, we couldn’t see it! Edwin stopped and lifted a big rock… Sure
enough…. There was a big ol’ gopher snake under the rock and he didn’t really
want to be disturbed! The snake opened his mouth real wide! This was Edwin and
Earl’s first experience with a snake… Edwin put the rock back down! However,
this is what I do…. Catching snakes is what I live for! Been doing it for over
four years now! I told Edwin and Earl: “This is how you catch a snake that
doesn’t want to be caught!” I told Edwin to gently lift the rock again….Once
again, the snake opened his mouth! I put both hands under the rock, moving my
right hand close to his head! He struck at my hand biting my finger refusing to
let go! I pulled him out from under the rock…. He belonged to us now! It hurt
but not real bad. We headed for home. We didn’t get lost! It was an awesome
adventure and we couldn’t wait to do it again! Well, of course we went again
the very next day, and we went the day after that. This was the ultimate
wilderness that stretched to the horizon! We found out it wasn’t necessary to
lie to our parents, As long as we left really early in the morning and rode our
bikes to the dead-end on Mountain Ave. We are able to get back home in plenty
of time for dinner! We also decided we didn’t need to bring food. We were young
and it didn’t bother us that much to skip lunch when we headed into the
“Dreaded Desert!” It was still spring, the days were warm but not summer time
hot. So, it was a wise thing for us to bring the canteen of water but that was
it! At first we didn’t stray to far into the desert. Just being cautious. We
continued making a pile of rocks ever so often just to make sure we could
always find our way back home.
The desert
was… So different compared to the orange groves! It was raw, unforgiving, and
barren! I told Edwin and Earl that we will have to be especially careful out
here! They both asked me why? I told them that the dangers out here are more
real than what we faced in the orange groves! Once again they asked why? I
said: “There will definitely be rattle-snakes out here!…. Even scorpions, and
black widow spiders, so we have to be alert and keep our eyes open so we don’t
get bit and maybe even die out here! Before spring was over we roamed deep into
the desert, going there 3 times, each time getting a little braver than the
time before! It was scary and exciting at the same time! Just as I had said…. The desert was alive with lizards
especially! We discovered a new kind of lizard out here…. It was called a
“whip-tail” lizard…. The tail on that dam lizard was over a foot long making
the entire length at least 18 inches! Plus, he could run like the wind making
it very difficult for us to catch one! But, of course we were mostly interested
in hunting, finding, and catching snakes! When spring break ended and we went
back to school…. We made a pact…. We weren’t going to tell anybody that we were
exploring what we now called the Mountain Ave. Desert. The desert was ours now
and we didn’t want to share it with any other boys. The first day back to school
after spring break was difficult for me! I wanted to sit next to Valerie, I
wanted to hug her, I wanted her to hug me! But, when I got on the bus she
didn’t even look at me, I sat in the back by Edwin and Earl and pretended like
I didn’t care… But my heart was breaking! I wanted to cry but I held it back…L I
thought to myself, if girlfriends made you hurt like this then I never want to
have another girlfriend for the rest of my life! Of course, puberty would come
along in a couple of years and reverse these feelings! J
During the week, Edwin, Earl, and me and Duke just hung out on our street and
played with the other kids, we always had fun when we did.
Remember
the two boys that moved in on the other side of Janet, Leona, Linda, and
Chipper? Glen and Tom? Well, when we
were on the street Tom would come up and hang out with us. He was Butt ugly.
However, he was a nice kid so we let him play whatever games we were playing
with us…. But he didn’t go with us into the desert…. We even asked him a couple
of times if he wanted to go, he always said no. His mother didn’t work so she
probably was telling him he couldn’t go. But Tom started getting close to me
anyway! If he saw me coming down the street on my bike and into my yard… He
would come over and hang out with me for a while. This time period, the early
fifties was the beginning of the ruination of America! Television was invented
and working in the late thirties but world war two put a stop to the production
and distribution of the TV. Then, after the war, production resumed and
distribution began in the late 1940’s but only people with money could afford
one at first. By the early 1950’s the price of a TV became affordable for the
average American family! That changed everything! People were so fascinated
with having a TV in their front room…. They stopped coming outside in the
evening to play….This includes adults! Sometimes, after dinner our parents,
especially the dad’s would play a friendly game of baseball or football with us
while the mom’s sat in chairs to watch and gossip! Neighborhoods were alive
with activity before TV. Eventually, the “one eyed demon” (TV) began gaining
control of kids! They stayed inside to watch shows like Sheriff John and
crusader rabbit, or “Engineer Bill” “Winchell Mahoney” “Beanie and Cecil” and
so many others that were created just for kids. My dad, who by now had a
serious drinking problem…. Finally bought us our first TV in 1952. It was only
a 12 inch screen TV and he was supposed to buy this big 18 inch plastic bubble that
sat in front of the TV. Then, you filled it with water and it enlarged the 12
inch screen to 18 inches! Dad said we
would get the bubble later when he could afford it… But of course, that never
happened and all of us had to sit real close to the TV so we could see what we
were watching! J My dad was a good man but the war
changed him, he started drinking after he came home and it only got worse as
time passed! By the time we got to the 1950’s… He was an alcoholic. But he went
to work everyday and always provided for his family. He never had much time for
his four children but we knew he loved us.
During the
summers, every once in a while he took us to the beach or to “Fish Canyon in
the mountains above Monrovia, Ca. He would let us run wild but all he wanted to
do was sit on a blanket, drink beer, and be left alone, so we left him alone.
We were little kids…. We loved him just the way he was. I guess I got
sidetracked! It’s still spring, 1952…. Edwin, Earl, me and Duke would head for
the desert mostly on Saturday, leaving early in the morning. So far we only
caught one good sized gopher snake…. He was longer than we were tall, but he
was a beautiful golden brown snake and we all loved Mr. Gopher snake! But we
knew there were more snakes out here in this wilderness…. A lot more! So we
kept looking in places where we knew a nice big snake would maybe hide out
during the day. Most snakes are nocturnal by nature and don’t like the light of
day. This particular Saturday day we were heading in a different direction than
the way we usually went, looking for a new adventure. We already lost Duke, He
took off in a mad dash, chasing a huge Jack rabbit! I was used to this and I
knew that before long he would come running out of the bushes tired and
thirsty! All of a sudden Edwin yelled, Look! Pointing at the ground about 15
feet away. Edwin started running! It was a huge snake!! He wanted to be the one
to catch it, he was obsessed with this. Earl and I were running right behind
him and even though I was back a ways from Edwin, I recognized the snake just
before Edwin got to it!!! I yelled… EDWIN, RATTLE-SNAKE!!!!! Just as I yelled… The snake realized he was
in danger and started his rattle!!! Even before Edwin heard the rattle, he saw
it! I never saw a kid make a U-turn and run the other way so fast in my life! J Mr.
“Rattler” was immediately going into defensive mode….. He coiled and was
preparing to strike if necessary! Well, we knew better than to get to close,
but still,…. This was exciting! Our first encounter with a real live
rattle-snake! Remember, we were the proud, the brave, mighty warrior’s,
fearless, and afraid of nothing! Well, we were…..J
Everywhere out here
in this desert there were these long dead sticks still in the ground. At one
time I’m sure some kind of foliage grew on these dead sticks. Right now we
needed them, so we each pulled one out of the ground. One of us kept Mr.
Rattler busy so he would remain coiled. Rattle snakes are like any other snake,
they don’t really want any trouble. If you leave them alone, they will crawl
off into the bushes and leave you alone. However…. This was to exciting to just
walk away from. It was dangerous to be sure…. But that’s what we lived for! Our
young hearts were pounding full of excitement, it filled our senses! I told
Edwin and Earl to spread out. This will intimidate Mr. Rattler thinking he’s
being surrounded. I said: “Ok, Watch!” With the long stick, which had to be
longer than 10 feet,… I poked Mr. Rattler on the nose! Not enough to hurt him….
Just enough to piss him off so he would strike! As soon as he would “spring” in
my direction I turned and ran like hell! In the corner of his eye, Mr. Rattler
would see Edwin and Earl moving in his direction and immediately he coiled
again! Now Edwin said: “My turn!” So he did the same thing I did. Then Earl did
it too. Mr. Rattler was a “trooper, a good warrior snake! While he was coiled
he would move his head back and forth, keeping his eyes on all 3 of us! Telling
us he was ready to go down fighting if that’s what he had to do! I was proud of
him and his bravery! We finally threw our sticks down hoping he understood that
we meant him no real harm! Goodbye Mr. Rattler, maybe we will meet again
someday! He cautiously crawled into the bushes and out of our sight forever!!
But I never forgot about Mr. Rattler! We moved on, Suddenly Duke was by my
side, looking tired, tongue hanging out, tail wagging….I looked at him
closely…. His legs were wet, his tummy was wet, and so was his face!! I looked
at Edwin and Earl and said: “were close to water!” The both said: “How do you
know that?”… I said: “Duke just told me so!” Duke wasn’t trained to “track,” he wasn’t trained to find
his way, but somehow he knew I wanted to find this water source…..So my most
faithful friend led us to where the water was! It was unbelievable! Out here,
in the middle of nowhere, we were standing on the edge of a small body of
water! A little pond!
One Saturday morning we headed for
the desert real early. As we rode our bikes down Euclid Ave. Toward Mountain
Ave. We had to ride by the north boundary of my orange groves. I started
feeling an emptiness inside of me that I didn’t understand at first. I finally
realized what it was, my orange groves were calling to me like an old friend…
It was the “voices in the wind,” when gentle breezes blew…. The aroma of the
orange blossoms captured my senses telling me the groves were calling! I knew,
this is where Duke and I belong! But, not today! Edwin, Earl, and I were on a
mission! Even though Edwin has traveled to the other side of the world… He
never experienced adventures like this! Neither has Earl!….Me? I’ve been doing
this for going on 5 summers now! We pushed our way deep into the desert…. Going
farther than we ever have before! We didn’t care. We wouldn’t get lost, we were
sure of that now! Along the way we looked under big rocks hoping to find
another snake…. Nothing! We must have hiked our way into the desert for 3
hours. All of us were farther away from home than we have ever been before! We
loved it! Excitement was racing through our veins as we began to climb a small
hill! Suddenly, there it was! Something
we’ve never seen before! It was colossal in size…. A Behemoth!! It was ominous and foreboding just to look at
it!! Our hearts, young and brave, were frozen with fear and excitement just
looking at it! Even Duke sensed the change in all three of us and he knew
something was up! We all looked at each other not sure what to think or what to
do! Edwin spoke first. He said: “Come on, lets get a closer look.” Earl and I
were not about to be called chicken…. We headed down the hill toward the huge
structure taller that a three story building! This was thrilling beyond
thrilling! The structure was made of wood…. Appears to have been abandoned
years and years ago! But what the hell could it be? Wooden beams connected to
wooden beams…. You could see into the structure…You could even see clear
through it! Before long, we were standing right in front of it! Back on top of
the little hill…. It looked huge! Now, standing right next to it…It was
gigantic!! We stood there spell bound for a few minutes wondering what to do
next…. As usual, Edwin moved first, me and Earl followed.
Duke didn’t like this
at all! He sensed danger connected to this place… So did we… But remember,
Danger is what we lived for!! The unknown just made it more dangerous and more
thrilling to our young hearts! I stooped down, patting Duke on the head telling
him not to worry, we’ll be careful…. It didn’t settle his fears…. He started
fussing at us, his way of telling us not to enter this evil place! But, you
know Annette… We had to go…… We just had to….We cautiously walked into the
unknown structure. It was eerie to say the least. It made noises, funny
creaking and cracking noises as if it was warning us that “Death comes to all
who enter here!” We all looked at each other wondering if we should keep going
or get the hell out of here right now! Edwin smiled at me.… I didn’t smile
back! We moved further into this “thing” whatever it was… But we weren’t talking…
We didn’t make a sound!… About half way in we came to a ladder kind of… Edwin
looked at the ladder, shrugged his shoulders and started climbing… I was right
behind him, Earl was right behind me. Now Duke was really getting worked up! He
couldn’t climb the ladder to go with us…. I loved that dog so much! His concern
was if we needed him to save us from some kind of danger, he couldn’t be there
and that drove him crazy! We climbed the ladder anyway. We were being pulled
into this adventure… We had to see what was up there….. So, up we went! The
first level gave us no clue as to what this thing was used for once upon a
time. But, it was very incredible up here! This thing was as big as a building
and rectangular in shape. We could walk to all four sides and look out into an
endless desert! The wind blew through
the structure harder up here! It made a strange howling noise that reminded us
of something out of a scary movie. The noises were louder up here as well giving
all three of us an uneasy feeling… The thrill of the adventure was awesome! But
we were running out of courage fast! So, we decided we better climb back down
and run like hell! So, that’s what we did!! And Duke was right there with us
and happy that all three of us were back on the ground!
We were so excited
about our new discovery we didn’t bother looking for snakes or lizards… We just
headed for Mountain Ave. and our bikes! Of course, We stopped at our little
secret oasis and took a good long drink of the cleanest, sparkling, clear water
I ever tasted in my life! I guess it tasted as good as it did because of being
filtered naturally underground. Who would have ever thought that this desert
area would open up a whole new and exciting world for three 10 and 11 year old
“Explorers of the unknown.” Our first experience with a deadly rattle snake,
our secret little oasis in the middle of nowhere, and this “demonic temple of
doom!” Plus, we weren’t done with that evil structure yet!…. All three of us
knew that before this was over we were going all the way to the top! This is
what we do, We live to conquer! “The Good against the Evil.” Whatever
secrets are hidden inside this “ominous concealer of Death”…. We were going to
discover what these secrets are! The next day was Sunday and we were to excited
to wait until next week end…. So, off we went! We moved into the desert like
the devil himself was on our tails! We headed straight for the structure!!
There it was, right where we left it! J The three of us
looked at each other, this time we all smiled. It was still a scary looking
structure! We were still 10 and 11 years old with totally out of control, wild
imaginations, And we knew it was a long way to the top of that “thing.”
Whatever it was… We walked in and started to climb. Duke didn’t like it but he
didn’t fuss as much as he did the day before. When we got to the first level we
stopped… We were familiar with this level so it helped to bolster our courage
to climb to the second level…. As we climbed to the second floor those weird
noises got even louder! Excitement was starting to capture our senses, our
hearts were pounding hard as we stepped off the ladder onto the platform….It
was darker on this level creating an uneasy feeling in all three of us! But we
slowly began to move in different directions, exploring, there were three or
four small rooms that must have been offices at one time, but we were to young
to figure that out back then. There were signs that
others had explored this structure sometime in the not to distant past, might
have even have hung out in these little rooms. Most likely teenage boys that
grew up and moved on. Moving around on this
second level was unnerving! Dark shadows were everywhere! Those unholy noises
were giving the three of us a heightened sense of fear! I could feel goose
bumps racing up and down my spine! Suddenly, Earl whispered as loud as he
could… “Hey guys come over here!” Edwin and I headed in the direction of Earl’s
voice.
The three of us stood
there looking at a long metal contraption that started at the ground level and
went clear to the top. There were old rusted metal looking buckets connected to
it and spaced about two or three feet apart. “What the hell is this?” Earl
asked. Edwin kept looking at it, He looked down, he looked up, he looked inside
one of the buckets. Finally he said: “You know what I think this whole place is?” Earl and I said: “What?”
Edwin said: “ I think it’s an old fashion
rock-crusher!” Then it all made sense! There were a few modern
rock-crushers down on Live Oak Blvd. Do you remember where the Edwards Drive-in
movie sat Annette? Wasn’t it on Live Oak and Peck Rd.? Well, back in 1952 I’m
pretty sure it was. Anyway, a lot of rock quarries were sitting out off of the
road and they ground rocks into
sand for making cement for the
construction trade. This old rock-crusher, made out of wood probably dates back
to somewhere in the 1930’s. But it did resemble the more modern ones that we
were familiar with. So, problem solved! However, it was still a frightful
looking thing! Now, we decided to go all the way to the top! From up here, we
could see clear to eternity! The view from this third level was….. fear
inspiring! Up here, at the very top, we discovered what some of the weird
noises were….. Birds!! Pigeons, or doves, don’t
know which. Dozens of them roosting in the rafters! By the time their
“Roosting” noises Made it down to the ground level it sounded like evil spirits
whispering our name! What a nice relief that was!! J
Being at the top of the evil “crusher of death!” We really did feel like we
were the conquerer’s of the world!! All three of us stood at one side looking
way out into “our” endless desert screaming like Tarzan! It was sooo Cool!! J I
walked to the extreme end of the third floor and looked way off into the
distance…. I saw something…. It was “green.” I yelled at Edwin and Earl to
“come over here!” So they did. I said: “Look, way out there can you see the
color of green?” They said: “Yeah, it looks like trees, lot’s of them!” I said:
“That color of green you don’t find in the desert. Look around, everything is
an ugly shade of brown!” Earl asked: “What do you think it is?” I said: “I
don’t know but it takes water to make plants and trees that green!” I
didn’t have to say to much more…. When one of us started thinking of a new
adventure, the other two were already thinking the same thing! Edwin settled
it…. He said: “We don’t have time to go see what it is today, we’ll have to
wait until next Saturday.” We all agreed and started back down the ladder. Duke
was glad to see us back on the ground safe and sound. He hates it when I do
things like this, he insists on being right by my side no matter what! We
headed for home, we were on schedule and knew we wouldn’t be late. A new sense
of excitement was starting to control our thinking. Once again, it was another
adventure of the unknown! The school week went soooo slow! I had to look at
Valerie every day and it still hurt my heart! I hated feeling like this! On
Saturday morning we were “in the wind!” No looking back! Moving swiftly past
the oasis, past the “destructive demon of doom!” (the rock crusher) We headed east to the sunrising! It took
longer than we thought, but finally, we were there….. And Annette….
OH-MY-GOD….OH-MY-GOD!!! As we approached
the green trees and green bushes, that was all we could see! We had to work our
way through this little “jungle” and suddenly, we were there Annette! This is
the most awesome…. The most unbelievable thing I have ever discovered in all my
years of being a fearless explorer! This
was the most ultimate experience that three brave adventurers could have ever
hoped for! Edwin just stood there, kept saying
something like: “ Holy sweet Jesus in heaven!” Earl and I stood there with nothing to say….
I wish you could have been there Annette! You would have been ten years old
too…. It’s hard to put these kinds of feelings into words! You had to have been
there, when you were ten, only then could you understand how over whelmed we
were with emotions that day!
We were
standing on the edge of a really huge crater! It looked like something caused
by a big meteorite! Plus, way, way down at the bottom…. There was a lake! Out
here in the middle of this endless barren desert was this gigantic hole in the
ground with a lake at the bottom! I can
still remember standing there looking down at the water! It was emerald green
and so beautiful! I finally spoke: “What
in the hell could this be?” I asked…. Edwin and Earl didn’t say anything….
Edwin shrugged his shoulders …. He said: “Come on, we are going to go find
out!” We were to young to even consider things like a meteor hitting the earth.
We literally had no idea what this was! Once again, the thrill of the “unknown
adventure” began to capture our senses! We walked along the edge of this crater
until we found an incline safe enough for us to make our decent! It was still
dangerous and we had to be careful not to lose our footing! Duke wasn’t fussing
because he was right there with us as we slowly made our way to the bottom. It
took a little while but we finally made it! Standing on the edge of the lake
was incredible! It was even bigger now! We threw big rocks into the water
trying to get an idea of how deep it was but it didn’t help…. We had no idea if
it was deep or shallow! There was only one way we would be able to determine
the depth of the lake!! SOMEBODY was going to have to go in…. Swim out a ways
and do an experimental dive! So, who do you think was the best swimmer of the
three of us? Well of course that would be me! J But not today! This was new and
exciting and we needed to check things out! Eventually I saw it! It was way on
the other side of the lake! It was a dirt road cut into the side of the crater…
What the hell? Anyway, it took us a while but we eventually figured out what this
huge hole in the ground was! There was this “Rock-Quarry” down on Live Oak
Blvd. Named Blue Diamond Rock quarry. They bulldozed a dirt road into the
desert… They started digging this hole in the ground and hauling the rock and
gravel back to their rock crusher to ground into sand.
They kept digging the
hole deeper and deeper until they struck water and had to abandon the hole! So,
…… Now the hole with the lake at the bottom belonged to the three brave
conqueror’s of the “Dangerous desert of Death!” We never told a soul about the
things we discovered out here in the desert! We were so excited about finding
our little oasis of cool, clear water! We were beside ourselves when we
stumbled onto the abandoned wooden rock crusher! I cannot explain how we felt when
we found ourselves standing on the edge of this huge crater in the desert with
a lake at the bottom! The three of us have discovered so much, traveled so far,
seen so many things, and we are only 10 years old! We kept all of our
experiences a deep dark secret! We wanted to tell the other kids at school
about all of these things… We wanted to brag!… But we never did! This was our
world! Our “never ending story.”…. We didn’t want other boys at school roaming
all over a mysterious desert that belongs to us! We were coming to the end of the 1951/1952 school year and summer
was looming on the horizon… Soon we would be able to roam the orange groves and
the desert everyday! Like always, excitement began to over take our young, wild
imaginations as the last day of school approached! But before school let out
for the summer, I have one last memory of the fifth grade and our teacher Mr.
Riley. Mr. Riley was really interested in GOLD! Real Gold! The stuff dreams are
made of!!! J So, for the
last two weeks of school we studied the subject of Gold. Mr. Riley taught us as
much as he could about this precious metal. During the last week of school Mr.
Riley told us he was going “prospecting” for gold on the first Saturday after
school is out…. If anybody wants to go too, bring a note from your parents
giving their permission. Be here at school by 9:00AM Saturday and we will spend
the day in the mountains looking for gold! I thought this would be fun! So I
got a note from mom and showed up at the school on Saturday morning! Only about
ten or twelve boys showed…. No girls….. I guess the girls weren’t interested in
digging the gold out of the ground. They probably figured they would let the
boys find the gold, then it would be their job to take it away from them! J The
little Sluts!!! J
This memory is stuck in my head mostly because since myself, Edwin, and
Earl became the gruesome threesome, we were never seperated from each
other….Never, I mean never ever!! But, here I was at school at 9:00AM on
Saturday morning getting ready to go gold prospecting alone, Without Edwin or
Earl! Neither of their parents would write them a note! They didn’t want me to
go without them but I wanted to do this! You know…. Another adventure! I had to
go Annette, you know I had to…. I will admit, it didn’t feel right without my
two compadres, my best friends for life! But, I really had fun! Mr. Riley was
so cool! …. He helped all of us get situated on the edge of a creek and took
the time to show each one of us how to “Pan for Gold!”…. I actually found three
little nuggets, probably worth three cents altogether! J I thought I was rich! I got gold fever! I
decided I would pan for gold for the rest of my life! Then, later in the day I
met two old, old men…. Probably 40! They said they have been coming to this
creek for three years! I asked them if they found a lot of gold? They showed me
a small brown bag and there was a lot of little gold nuggets in it. I said:
“Man, you guys are rich! They chuckled and told me it cost them more money than
the gold was worth coming up here every week end! Gas, food, and equipment, all
cost money. Plus, in 1952 gold was only worth $16.00 an ounce… So, I decided I
didn’t want to prospect for gold anymore!! But, I never forgot that day! The
day I found gold and was instantly struck with gold fever, then meeting the two
old men and they cured me! All in the same day! Also, I never forgot my fifth
grade teacher Mr. Riley, after putting up with kids for nine months he was
still willing to take a bunch of us to the mountains the day after school was
out. It was a nice adventure for a 10 year old.
However, I missed my two companions from “Hell!” Back home there were
still worlds to conquer! Snakes and lizards to chase and catch…. Without Edwin
and Earl, and Duke by my side, nothing seemed right and I was glad to be back
home! Duke was really pissed! I had no right to take off all day and not take
him!!… He’s so funny! But Edwin and Earl were kind of mad too… I guess I
shouldn’t have gone…. But I’m glad I did!! J So, now school is out. It was difficult for me to think that I won’t get
to see Valerie, the love of my life, for three whole months!…L The next day I told Edwin and Earl that I
wanted to spend this day in the groves. Compared to the desert, the orange groves
were beautiful and green, Gentle winds blew through the trees calling to me
like “Voices in the wind.” You could smell the fragrances in the air for miles.
It was peaceful, soothing to the soul…. This is where Duke and I are the
happiest. So, we spent the day roaming through the groves… It was good to be
back… I could even see the difference in Duke! Me and Duke have explored these
groves for five summers now… No one knows the deepest parts of the orchards
better than me and Duke! We all chased lizards that day and one red racer snake
but he got away. However, all of us knew…. We knew we weren’t done with the
desert, we had to go back…. And so we did! The next day, we were headed back to
the desert! We were going to explore this lake real good today! We were excited
again! It was so far away, it would take a good couple of hours just to get
there. We probably could get there a lot faster if we didn’t get side tracked
chasing reptiles but that was our whole world! That’s what we lived for! All
these other discoveries were exciting beyond words but reptiles were our first
love, that’s just the way it was….. It’s difficult for me to give you a good
mental picture of this giant crater so you could understand just how big it
was… But, if I was standing at the top of this crater and Edwin and Earl was on
the edge of the lake…. They would look like “toy-boy-barbie dolls.” The hole
was so big around you couldn’t see the road cut into the other side unless you
really focused your eyes even though the road had to be big enough for a big
dump truck to drive down to the bottom, get filled with rock and gravel, then
drive back up to the top! So this was no little hole in the ground which is why
we were so awe struck when we first stood on the edge of this crater!
When we reached the crater we didn’t waste any time getting to the bottom.
I said: “I’m going in!” We knew we were all alone out here… Right up to this
day, we have never seen one person other than ourselves so I just took off my
clothes and waded into the water, it got deep fast so I started swimming…. I
didn’t go way out to the middle, I’m brave but not that brave!J Once I got a ways out…. I took a deep
breath and dove under! I kept my eyes open and I could see pretty good under
water, but Couldn’t see the bottom! I probably only went down 10 or 12 feet but
for a 10 year old that was a pretty deep dive! When I came back up Edwin and
Earl yelled at me: “Did you find the bottom?” I yelled back: “Nope, must be
really deep!” Well, Edwin and Earl weren’t
really good swimmers, they could keep themselves afloat and “Dog-paddle”
enough to move around a little but they never ventured to far from the edge of
our private lake…. On this particular day we had an awesome time swimming naked
as the day we were born! J We finally named the this place: “Blue diamond lake.” After going back
three or four times during the summer of 1952, we began to lose interest… It
was to far and the summer was to hot. The last time we went to the lake there
were 4 teenage boys swimming in it. They somehow built a raft that would hold
two boys without sinking… It wasn’t our secret anymore! We left that day not
knowing at the time, that would be the last day the three of us would ever see
“Blue Diamond Lake” again… But it was still an awesome discovery for three 10
year old explorers of the wild! And to this day…. It remains a really neat
experience and the very coolest memory! All three of us considered the desert
officially conquered after discovering Blue Diamond lake. For the rest of the summer
of 1952 there were no new, awesome, incredible, discoveries! The three Amigo’s
pushed their boundaries as far as they could, there were no new world’s to
explore! But, we still had snakes and lizards to chase and catch.
The orange groves were still the best place ever to go hunting, exploring,
and just to hang out. So that’s what we did….. However, things were changing in
the summer of 1952! Edwin and Earl were
both 11 now… You were to Annette…. I wouldn’t turn 11 until February, 1953. ….
It didn’t matter, I felt older than Edwin and Earl both. I have spent years
roaming through the groves, just me and Duke… The things I learned out there,
you couldn’t learn in a book! We still took advantage of the long summer days
and played with the rest of the kids on our street in the evenings…. Not every
night … TV was changing the neighborhood, TV changed everything! But there were
still a lot of nights all the kids came out to play and we always had fun! But
things were changing with me and Edwin and earl in other ways as well. It
seemed impossible but we were losing interest in hunting and catching reptiles!
Edwin and Earl more so than me. Toward the end of summer they were only coming
over and going into the groves with me a couple times a week. It appears as though
the gruesome threesome were growing apart! Well, the summer of 1952 finally
came to an end. We were all three about to start the sixth grade…. I guess we
are growing up. Only now I could not have ever imagined what was about to
happen! I could never have prepared myself for something like this! One week
before school started Edwin came to my house. He had a strange look in his
eyes… A look I’ve never seen before! I asked: “Whats the matter?” I could tell
it was difficult for him to speak… Finally he said: “My dad has just been given
a new assignment ….We’re leaving for Korea in two days!! I was in shock! I
couldn’t begin to imagine what my life would be like without Edwin! He was
always brave, Always the first to say: “Come on, lets go check it out!” I said:
“Edwin you can’t go! Arn’t we the three
amigo’s? All for one…And One for all?”…. Of course he said: “Barry what can I
do, my parents are leaving for Korea, I have to go with them!” I knew he was
right,… He had to go and there was nothing we could do about it... I got tears
in my eyes as he headed back home! L
I had a difficult time going to
sleep that night! Duke could always tell when something was wrong. Gently, he
crawled up to me and put his head on my chest. No one could possibly understand
how much I loved Duke! He couldn’t stand knowing something was upsetting me… If
I was sad, Duke was sad…. If I was crying, Duke was crying too. As much as I
loved Edwin and Earl, it didn’t come close to how much I loved my life-long
companion, Duke! Still, it was hard to accept that Edwin was leaving in two
days! It would be just me and Earl… Without Edwin, it won’t be the same… I was
closer to Edwin than I was to Earl. I think it was because Edwin had a very
adventurous spirit, even more than me… Earl didn’t have this… He was brave
because Edwin and I were brave! If we went somewhere, Earl would follow, if we
weren’t scared, neither was he! Now, our whole world would never be the same
again! L The next day, Edwin came over early. Not long after
that Earl jumped the backyard fence, we all went into the garage and pushed the
front garage door open. We sat on anything we could find to sit on and told
Earl Edwin was leaving for Korea tomorrow! Earl’s eyes got really big and he
said: “KOREA!” Edwin shook his head yes… It didn’t seem to bother Earl that
much. I was devastated that Edwin was leaving, Earl didn’t seem to be… In fact,
Earl started talking about how lucky Edwin is getting to go to far away places
like Korea, How he wishes he could do something like that. All I could think
about is how Edwin’s leaving is breaking up the three Musketeers! The three
brave explorers of unknown regions! I sat there with tears in my eyes, no one
noticed……. I finally stood up and said: “Come on, we have to spend our last day
together in the groves… So that’s what we did…..I still remember that last day
with Edwin and Earl out in the groves! It was a beautiful morning but my heart
was so full of sadness I hardly noticed.
We didn’t look for or chase reptiles today, we weren’t in the mood. We
just roamed through the groves goofing around, we were silent mostly, we didn’t
know what to say. Tomorrow, Edwin will be gone, our lives will never be the
same again. To much emotion here for three young hearts to comprehend. We hung
out in the groves for most of the day. We talked about Edwin leaving, we talked
about starting the sixth grade without him. It was hard. We didn’t want to
think about this, we wanted it to go away….. It was time to go home……So we did.
All these years I’ve lived in Duarte, Ca. …. I was happy, everyday I found
something new and exciting for me to do! When Edwin and Earl came into my life,
I didn’t know that little boys could be so close, mean so much to each other,
and could have so much fun exploring far away places together! Now, my heart is
so broken I can’t begin to explain it! Will life always be this painful? Always
be this confusing? The next morning I got up and went down to Edwins. They were
loading everything into a trailor. I could see the excitement in Edwin’s eyes…Another
adventure! As he was getting in the car I hugged him goodbye…. I watched him
drive away and out of my life forever!….. I went home and cried for an
hour….Goodbye Edwin! L After Edwin left, I was so
depressed,… For days I was as sad as a ten year old boy could be! I had to get
ready to start school but I didn’t want too……I thought about seeing Valerie
after our three month summer vacation, but that didn’t make me happy, it only
depressed me more! When our school schedule came in the mail, Edwin, Earl, and
I were going to be in the same class! We were so excited about that! Now, it
will be just Earl and I…. It wasn’t going to be the same without Edwin. Our
sixth grade teacher was a woman…. As butt ugly as any woman I’ve ever seen in
my life! The rumor was, she was part Italian and part
French, anyway, I don’t think I can spell her name but I’ll try…. Mrs.
Buggelli…. At first I didn’t like her, probably because she really was one ugly
woman! She should have been arrested for “Eye Pollution!” If you know what I mean! J But in time, my feelings about her
changed… She was strict but fair and you have to respect a teacher like that!
The first day of school was the same as last year. We were all curious to see
how many new kids there would be starting school with us this year. Of course,
there were quite a few new kids but I didn’t care….. I didn’t want to make any new friends, so I just hung out with Earl
everyday! I was feeling mixed emotions over the fact that Valerie was also in my
class again for another whole school year! My heart is broken twice, once for
Valerie, and once for Edwin…No ten year old should have to hurt like this…Or so
I thought. L As the sixth grade school year got under way
in September, 1952… It was pretty much the same as every year…. The same kids,
playing the same games, the same “Cliques.” It was always the same…. Earl and I
blended in but we weren’t “Popular”…. That was reserved for the best looking
boys and the prettiest girls!….Who gave a dam,… I didn’t…… I did noticed
something different this year. Girls always seemed to be wherever the boys were
playing sports. I didn’t understand it back then but girls mature faster than
boys so, even if they didn’t realize it themselves, they were beginning to show
an interest in the opposite sex! My my my! J Not me!… I’m still hurting from what Valerie did to me, I didn’t want to
go through that again. But the fact remains…. All of the kids I’ve known since
I was six years old…… We were all approaching puberty…. We were growing
up……Sad…… The sixth grade didn’t start out very good for me. Having
to say goodbye to Edwin was really hard. The three of us were always together,
if you saw one of us, you saw all three of us, that’s just the way it was….
That’s the way it was supposed to be… forever! It seemed like I was living
under a dark cloud, and yet, Earl seemed the same as always, it was all so
confusing….. If that wasn’t enough, I still missed Valerie, it wasn’t fair what
happened to us, I didn’t deserve that. But, everyday in class I had to see her
beautiful face. Once in a while she would look up from her school work and
catch me looking at her, she looked back down and acted like she didn’t
notice…. I wanted to cry…. L Barely a month after school
started…. When I wasn’t looking….. Someone cut my heart out of my chest, threw
it on the ground and stomped on it! One night after school, Earl jumped the
backyard fence and came up to my back door. I came out on the back porch and
asked him: “Whats up?” Dam, I didn’t like the look in his eyes! He said:
“My parents sold our house, my dad has
taken another job. We are moving to San Francisco next week end!” My insides
simply froze! I couldn’t believe what I just heard. Finally I said: “So, I’m
losing you too?” He just looked at me and said: “Yeah, I guess so.” As with
Edwin, I knew there was nothing he could do about it… The three Musketeers were
something that no longer exists…. Earl and I spent as much time together as we
possibly could for the next week. But, all to soon, Saturday was here and
Earl was leaving. I jumped the backyard fence and helped him finish loading the
rental truck. His dad was driving the truck, Earl and his mom would follow in
the car. I had tears in my eyes as I hugged Earl goodbye… His mother saw it and
bent down and hugged me to. I watched as they drove away and out of my life
forever! L Goodbye Earl, I hope life deals
you a winning hand! I went home and laid
down on my bed and started to cry. Somewhere along the way I fell asleep with
Duke lying next to me. My world crashed down around me, I literally didn’t know
what to do now! My two best, best friends gone, leaving me here in Duarte, Ca.
All by myself….. I lost the “wind in my sails” back in the fall of 1952! I
still had Duke, it started out that way. Duke
and I…. Now, here we are again…. Just Duke, and myself….The following week
after Earl left was absolutely horrible! Walking to the bus stop alone, sitting
on the bus alone, All day in school I was alone…. I wanted to die! At home my life felt like a huge void. I was
sitting under the orange tree in my front yard on Saturday morning trying to
figure out where my life was going now! Two doors down from where Edwin had
lived, two kids had moved in some time ago. The oldest was a boy named, Buddy.
His younger sister was named, Beatrice. While I was sitting there in my front
yard, under my orange tree, Beatrice came walking up and sat down in front of
me, she was nine years old. I wasn’t in the mood to talk to her but I didn’t
want to be mean either. We just talked for a while about nothing in particular
but then she asked me: “Do you still go out in the orange groves?” I said:
“yeah, once in a while.” Then she said: “Take me out there, I want to see what
it’s like.” thought, what the hell….. I
took Beatrice deep into my world of orange trees…. She had never been out here
at all, much less as far as I took her on this sunny Saturday morning. I don’t
know why but I wanted to impress her so I brought her to my secret plumb tree!
The plumbs were gone but it was a really big,
really neat tree. So we climbed up into the tree as high as she had the
nerve to climb and just sat on a huge limb! For the life of me, to this day I
don’t remember how it all happened but both of us wound up undressing way up in
this tree! We both touched each other, kind of like, “you touch me, and I’ll
touch you.” We were both to naive to know what we were doing. There was nothing
sexual from either one of us. I think it was just curious experimentation! I was still a good
year and a half away from puberty, she was farther away than that! After that
day we even did again, once at her house when her parents were gone, and once
in my garage. It was fun because we knew we were being naughty and getting away
with it! Even though I had been molested twice already, I still knew absolutely
nothing about sex, didn’t even know what the word meant! We never did it again
after that. I don’t remember what happened to Buddy and Beatrice either! They
lived down the street for a couple of years but I don’t remember them moving or
anything…Oh well…..The groves really weren’t a place for girls. You had to be a
boy. A fearless explorer of the unknown! I never brought another girl out into
the orchards again. I always loved being out here where I felt free! I was one
with the orange groves, it was where I belonged, it was where I wanted to die!
Me, and my faithful companion, Duke, we will always come to this place, it’s
ours, it belongs to us, it will forever! But right now it was approaching winter,
to cold, come summer, 1953, we’ll be back! Unknown to me I was withdrawing into
a shell. I didn’t want to make anymore friends, it hurts to much to say goodbye
and watch them drive away. Duke won’t move away and leave me, we will always be
together. I didn’t need anyone else! The sixth grade was going so slow I didn’t
think I could make it to the end. It was during this school year I found out
why Valerie broke up with me! I wanted to tell her it was a lie, that I would
never say things like that about her! I
didn’t have the nerve to tell her, afraid she wouldn’t believe me anyway. So I
never said a word. Funny, Ronnie broke us up so he could have her but it didn’t
work, she never liked him. We both lost… Bummer.
We finally came
to February, 1953, I am now eleven years old but I feel like I’m
a hundred and eleven!!! I’m alone all
the time and that’s the way I want it! But as fate would have it, there were
more things changing on the horizon, waiting to rob me of my soul!!! Spring of
1953 was approaching. I wasn’t excited. I wasn’t anxious, I wasn’t anything….
School wouldn’t be out for a couple of months and I didn’t care. Dukes internal
clock was working and he knew summer was coming up. I didn’t care. The groves
were starting to blossom, you could smell them for miles, I didn’t care. I
could feel the orange groves calling to me…The “voices in the wind,” I knew
Duke and I would go but it will never be the same again without Edwin, Earl,
myself and Duke all together….It just wouldn’t.
One night when
we came home from bible class, dad was sitting in the front room holding Duke.
He said: “there’s something wrong with him he’s having seizures or something!”
I could see in Dukes eyes he was in serious trouble and I asked dad “what can
we do?” Dad said he talked to a man down the street who had 3 dogs and he told
him Duke might have eaten something spoiled from someone’s garbage can and you
should try to get him to drink milk mixed with raw eggs, that should induce
vomiting. That was what dad was doing when we walked in. I wanted to hold him,
I could see he wanted me to but mom and dad both wouldn’t let me near him in
case he went mad and they didn’t want him attacking and hurting me. I tried to
tell them Duke would never hurt me but they
wouldn’t take the chance. For the first time since I can’t remember when, Duke
didn’t get to sleep with me that night. Mom put us all to bed and shut our
bedroom door so Duke couldn’t get in.
Lying in bed, I
couldn’t go to sleep knowing Duke wasn’t asleep at the foot of my bed and that
he was terribly ill just outside my bedroom door. At some point, I did fall
asleep. I didn’t sleep very good that night and woke up just before daybreak to
go to the bathroom. I got up and opened the bedroom door and Duke was lying
right there on the floor just outside the door. Because I really had to pee
like most little boys do when they first wake up, I stepped over him as quietly
as I could and went to the bathroom. Coming back I stooped down and gently
rubbed my hand across his head, usually he would lift his head and lick my face
but he did nothing, I rubbed my hand down across his tummy and he was
stiff!!.....Duke died that night, his last thoughts were of me and he tried to
get to me to say goodbye because he knew he was dying, but he couldn’t push the
door open with his nose like he usually could so he laid there by the door
until he died.
I was
hysterical, mom came running out to see what was the matter and I was holding
Duke and crying and crying and crying. Mom made me put him down and she took me
back to my bed and got into bed with me holding me with both of her arms and
rubbing one hand through my hair over and over saying: “I’m so sorry Barry, I’m
so sorry Barry, I know, I know, I loved Duke to, we all did, I didn’t look up
at her but I could tell by her voice cracking that she was crying too. In all
my 11 years of life nothing had ever hurt me so bad as losing my boyhood dog.
Devastated, I couldn’t go to school that day, I couldn’t even think, why did
Duke have to die, he was only about 6 or 7 years old, he should have lived for
another 6 or 7 at least. I never pictured myself without Duke following me
around, I just didn’t. Duke was so much more than just a pet, at my age he was
my closest companion, my friend above all other human friends, we were
connected by the heart and by the soul and nothing mattered to me without him
by my side. I can remember times when I would fall off of my bike and skin my
knee. There was seldom anyone home during the day especially in the summer, mom
and dad both worked and my brother or my sisters might be home but I hated for
them to see me cry so I would go into our garage and sit down on the floor and
cry holding my knee that felt like it was on fire. Duke would get so upset because
I was crying he would literally start crying and whining to. First he would
come close to me and lick my tears from my face then he would start licking my
skinned knee, he was so special, his licking would actually make the pain go
away and I always took him in my arms and held onto him petting him on the head
and scratching his ears, which was his favorite thing for me to do. We were so
close, If I had a nickel to buy a Popsicle when the ice cream man came by, I
would share the whole thing with duke, that’s the way it always was, that’s the
way I thought it would always be, he wasn’t supposed to die and leave me like
that.
After Dukes
death, I went into serious deep depression. I not only didn’t go to school that
day but I didn’t go the next day or the day after that either. Mom never saw me
like this and she was getting worried. Finally she sat down by me and said:
“Duke is gone now Barry, I know how much you loved him but you have to be
strong, it’s time for you go to school, it will help you keep your mind off of
Duke, not even duke would want you to be this sad for this long!” I knew she
was right but it was still difficult for me stop thinking about him. I went
back to school the next day and little by little I started feeling better. But
the depression stayed with me, I wouldn’t go out and roam through the orchards
looking for snakes and lizards, I wouldn’t play with any of my other animals. I
went to school, I came home and stayed home. Mom and dad were both starting to
get really worried about me, they decided that what I needed was another
dog.......for months after Dukes death, my dad especially, kept coming home
with a new dog but I never again bonded with another dog after
duke. We found out later there was a grouchy old man who lived on the next
street who was mixing ground glass with hamburger meat and putting it in his
garbage can so dogs would smell the meat and eat it. That’s what killed
Duke! He ate meat and ground glass,
which of course tore up his insides. Myself and some of my friends tore his
house up. We vandalized his house almost on a daily basis, even the cops
couldn’t catch us. He finally sold out moved away.
Losing Valerie, Edwin and Earl was really painful! I
honestly didn’t think anything could break my heart more than it was broken
after losing the three of them, boy was I wrong! I ended the sixth grade, the
1952/1953 school year living in the shadows of extreme sadness! This school
year was a major turning point in my life! Up till now my life was full of new,
strange, and exciting things to do… Life was fun, the world was beautiful! But
all in one school year, I lost everything that was near and dear to my heart! I
knew, when that school year ended, I would never ever be the same again…… Mom
and dad both were getting more and more worried about me! My depression seemed
to be getting worse, I still didn’t want to do anything or go anywhere… Mom
kept encouraging me to go out into the groves…. So finally, I did. Out in the
groves my soul was at peace with all the forces of nature. I felt free, my
spirit felt free! But I missed Duke…. I can’t ever remember being in the groves
without Duke by my side. Everything reminded me of him… I went to the “secret
fort myself, Edwin, and Earl had made putting bushes all around an orange tree,
I went inside and started crying, I couldn’t help it, I couldn’t stop, I didn’t
want to…..I’m no longer a part of the three Musketeers, the gruesome threesome,
the three amigo’s….. My dog was gone…. It was only me, with no heart and no
soul, there was no light in my eyes, I lived in darkness! I am now the “Dark
Warrior!” I’m still not evil, just alone, with nothing to light my way……….
I
still loved the orange groves! But it hurt me to go out there alone. So I
didn’t do it very much anymore! I feel totally lost! I was growing up but I
didn’t want Anymore friends, I didn’t want another dog, I didn’t know what I
wanted, I didn’t know what to do….The summer of 1953 was hot! I didn’t go to the orange groves very much. Some of the
kids were going to the “Monrovia municipal plunge,” every chance they got…
That included my two sisters and little brother. The neighborhood mom’s hatched
a plan! One mom would load up all the kids that wanted to go swimming and take
them to the pool. Usually, the kids would have four hours to swim… 12:00 noon
to 4:00PM, then another mom would pick the kids up and bring them home. So, on
some days, I would go too. Mom was really glad to see me go somewhere! It cost
15 cents to get in and there was a concession stand where you could buy food and drinks if you had the
money. Most of us rarely had any extra money but once in a while I had a nickel
left over so I could buy a nice big “cotton-candy!” which was a real treat!… J I had some fun
while I was at the pool but not a lot. I missed Edwin and Earl so much I wanted
to die! If that wasn’t bad enough, once in a while, not every time, Valerie
would show up at the swimming pool! Of course she acted like I wasn’t even
there… Does life come at you fast as you approach puberty or what??? I did the only mature thing an old, old
eleven year old boy could do…. I totally ignored Valerie and played with some
of the girls I came to the pool with hoping to make her jealous! I don’t think
it worked, if it did she didn’t show it…. Bummer! Most days I just stayed home. I guess I was
slowly coming out of my depression but I didn’t know it. Because it was to hot
to stay in my house I hung out in my garage and wondered….. What’s next? With so much going on, so much happening, so
fast, I didn’t notice right away but, two new kids moved into our neighborhood.
Do you remember Annette, me telling you Edwin moved into his grandparents house
which was the first house passed the dead end when they extended my street?
Then Buddy and Beatrice moved into a house just two doors down from Edwin?
Well, now two boys moved into a house about three doors down from Buddy and
Beatrice. The oldest boy was sixteen or seventeen, his name was Dick…. The
younger boy looked about my age, eleven or twelve. His name was Don. Don would
kind of nod his head at me in a gesture of friendship if I was walking or
riding past his house so I would nod my head back. I didn’t want to be friends
with him… I didn’t want to be friends with anyone! Summer of 1953 was the worst
summer of my life up till now! Mostly I stayed home, stayed by myself, it’s the
way I wanted it to be…. Without Duke by my side my life was empty,
meaningless!
Remember
Tom, he lived two doors down from me? Well, he started coming over a lot after
Duke died. He still didn’t want to go out into the groves, he just wanted to
hang out with me, either in my garage or in my house watching TV. His family
hadn’t bought one yet so he wanted to watch TV at my house every chance he got.
But I have to say in his defense, he was trying to let me know that he was sad
too, that Duke had died, he didn’t want me to go through this alone. I knew
what he was doing and I really did appreciate it. I didn’t realize it at the
time but what Tom was doing, was exactly what I needed to keep me from living
in my sorrow. Even Linda, the girl next door who was about my age would come
over and spend time with me, she was in fact, Tom’s cousin. Linda and I never
did get close. Of course I was always out roaming through the groves and except
for my beautiful Valerie, I didn’t really like girls. But Linda was usually
outside at night during the summer to play the games we all played, that was
about it. We were neighbors, I liked her as my next door neighbor…. Nothing
else……But, for a while, after Duke died, she started coming over to spend time
with me just like Tom was doing. I actually didn’t want either one of them
coming over… I wasn’t in the mood. But, I didn’t want to be mean so I never
said anything. About this time, Don came up to my house one day and introduced
himself to me. Don was a quiet, shy kid but there was something about Don that
made you like him right away! As soon as we got the introductions out of the
way we went into the house and of course everybody in the house wanted to check
out the new kid on the block! This includes my mom! My older sister and mom
were both carrying on about how good looking he was after he left! Come to find
out Don, who looked to be eleven years old… Was in fact thirteen! I couldn’t
believe it! He was older than my sister! Don’s family moved to Duarte from
Pasadena, Ca. His older brother Dick, was old enough to drive and owned his own
car. His teenage life, all his friends, all his girlfriends were back in
Pasadena so that’s where he hung out. Don was the youngest of five brothers! At
age thirteen, this guy had absolutely no fear of girls!
Little did I
know that day, when Don walked into my yard and shook my hand, that we would
become best friends and would be all the way till we grew up, got married and
started new lives! Something else that was a shock to me, Don was thirteen and
going into the sixth grade! I’m eleven and going into the seventh grade! For
right now, I still didn’t want to be friends with Don, or anybody else for the
matter. I didn’t think my heart would ever heal. Losing Edwin and Earl was
devastating, losing Duke was so traumatic I couldn’t sleep at night without him
curled up at the foot of my bed. I didn’t want to eat, I was losing weight, and
I didn’t feel like hanging out with anybody! The groves kept calling to me! I
could hear the “voices in the wind.” It was summer, I knew I belonged out
there…. Out there in my orange groves…. So I would go. In the groves… A calmness
would settle into my mind. But my heart and soul were gone! Just missing! It’s
impossible to put these feeling into words….It really is…. I loved being in the
orange groves, but it would tear at my heart being out there all alone, without
Edwin, without Earl, and without Duke! I would start to cry every time… L However, Don started hanging out with me
and Tom pretty regular. Like Tom, he was a neighborhood kid! No spirit of
adventure! That was ok, my spirit of adventure was dying fast…. Or so I
thought! I would have showed Don all my secret places, the groves, the desert,
the wooden rock crusher, and Blue Diamond Lake, if he would have wanted to go
with me, but he didn’t want to… Don was well into puberty and totally girl
crazy! He wasn’t interested in the wild imaginations of an eleven year old boy
who roamed through the groves or the desert…. That was ok with me, my life as
an adventurer died in the summer 1953! L Don did like going to the Monrovia
Municiple swimming pool as much as we could! So that’s what we did… We didn’t
round up a bunch of kids and get our mom’s to take us…. Nope…. Don was going to
teach me something new…. Independence!
We went to the nearest city Bus stop and a nickle would take us to
within a block of the pool. I thought this was really cool! I am now farther
away from home than when I hiked into the desert to swim in Blue Diamond lake!
Mom doesn’t even know where I am! I feel so grown up! J
Once we were in the pool, all Don did was flirt with pretty girls! If a
girl gave him her phone number, he remembered it, even though he didn’t write
it down! Boy, was I out of my league standing next to this guy! I didn’t want
to flirt with girls, or ask them for their phone number, I just wanted to swim
and have fun with the other boys I knew form school! However, the more I hung
out with don, the more I liked him. He definitely was fun loving and not afraid
to push the boundaries! It seemed like
there was light returning to my eyes! Even though my heart was still a slave to
my orange groves, running with Don…. I was starting to smile again! JJust when it seemed like I was getting
“the wind” back into my sails…. School was out. It was
now the summer of 1953. I got up one morning and went out do my chores for the
day when I realized I could smell something burning! I looked up and smoke was
filling the sky over my neighborhood! I went out into the front yard and could
see the smoke was coming from the orchards, I took off down the street and cut
through a neighbor’s yard and into the orchard. There were men everywhere, one
looked at me and told me to get out of here before I got hurt, I asked: “What
are you doing”? He said it was a controlled burn, the orange groves were being
eliminated. I couldn’t believe it! I went back home and got on my bike and rode
toward the wash, which was the far boundary of the groves closet to my house.
The wash embankment was higher than the ground the trees were growing out of so
I could see a long distance from where I was standing.
I think I stood there for over an hour
and watched in horror as they burned my “domain” to the ground! It was so much
more than just an orange grove. It was my Jungle and I was Tarzan! It was the
home for all of my reptiles!....They were being burned alive and all I could do
was watch with tears running down my face. Since I was six years old I roamed
through these orchards and they belonged to me! How could someone just set them
on fire like this and not even care about all the wild things that lived there?
Only the birds made it out alive. In the orchards, I was the “Defender” of all
that was good. I was the protector of the weak, I always had my wooden sword
and my knife because there was danger lurking behind every bush, every rock,
and every tree, I had to be alert and ready to fight, to defend, to protect. In
the end, I couldn’t protect the things I loved the most, my reptiles, they died, all of them and I didn’t even get
to say goodbye. I started crying…. My whole life, my whole world was
disappearing while I watched! It was more than I could take….All my memories of
Edwin, Earl, Duke and myself, went up in smoke! It wasn’t fair Annette….Since I
was six years old I roamed through these orchards, I knew every inch of them
better than anybody! How could they just burn them down not caring about all
the animals and reptiles that were dying! I went home crying my eyes out and
told my mom what they were doing to my groves…. There was nothing she could
do…. There was nothing she could say….Mom held me in her arms and let me cry!
My life as I knew it up to this day was officially gone! Over!! Only a memory
now, a memory that will last a lifetime!!
For weeks I watched as they bulldozed the trees and removed them either
by truck or by fire, they killed my orchards, they killed my heart and
destroyed my soul. Everything I ever knew or loved or cared about was all gone.
Valerie, Duke, Edwin, Earl, my snakes, lizards, and horny toads...and my
orchards, gone....They were all gone forever! How do you tell an eleven year
old boy, all of this is necessary for the sake of progress…. You can’t, he
won’t understand… I know! However, there were incredible changes in store for
me… Thanks to my new friend… Don! By the time the 1953/1954 school year was
ready to begin, I was no longer the same little boy that I used to be! My
little boy life had been wiped off the face of the earth! Valerie was gone,
Edwin was gone, Earl was gone, Duke was gone, my orange groves were gone! I am
no longer the “Dark-Warrior”…. I wasn’t anything…. Well, I was an eleven year
old boy about to start the seventh grade… I feel so much older than I am! There
were some new changes this year with school! All year a new school was under
construction and it sat just beyond the wash on the corner of Euclid and
Mountain Ave. I no longer have to ride a bus to school. Just before the school
year started, Don, Tom and myself rode our bikes up to the new school which was
named Maxwell Elementary school.
Kindergarten
to the eight grade. Our school schedule was posted on the bulletin board. Tom
was in my class. I was going to have the same teacher I had last year… Mrs.
Buggelli. She was moved up to the seventh grade, I didn’t mind. Once again, it
was with mixed emotions that I noticed Valerie would be in the same class as me!
Why am I being tortured Annette? What have I done that was so bad that I have
to endure so much pain and sorrow? Bummer! Don would not be in my class of
course, He was entering the sixth grade. But every morning he showed up at my
door and we walked to school together. We hung out together at lunch time, then
we walked home together. The thing about hanging with Don was it always
involved girls! Even though I didn’t want to I had to flirt with girls right
along with him! I had to be “Cool” Don would say… So, I was cool and I was
scared to death at the same time!J He would walk right
up to a pretty girl and start talking to her! If she had a girlfriend, they
usually always did… With my knees knocking, I had to stand next to Don and talk
to the other girl and try not to pee in my pants! This was so scary for me
Annette, you would not believe! I was not about to let Don know how scared I
was, I never liked being called “chicken.” So if Don flirted, I flirted
too. A lot of this I didn’t see back in
1953, as the school year got under way, running with a kid a good two years
into puberty suddenly kicked my approach to puberty into the fast lane! Don
didn’t stop there either. He didn’t like me dressing like I was eleven years
old! He showed me how to wear a shirt so I would look “cool!” So that’s what I
did. How ever Don told me I needed to dress in order to look “Cool,” that’s how
I dressed… I looked sooo Cool! J So, here I am… Eleven years old looking like I’m
thirteen and flirting with girls everyday! The little boy that roamed through
the groves, through the desert, chasing reptiles, was totally unrecognizable!
Not only was his entire life destroyed by fire…. That little boy just up and
disappeared in the fall of 1953!
There
still is however, a hole in my chest where my heart is supposed to be! I get a
knot in my stomach everyday when I pass by the north boundary where my groves
USED to be. All I can do is make a promise to myself that I will never forget
the groves, Edwin, Earl, and my boyhood dog, Duke. I’ve kept that promise! All
these memories I’ve written about are still, even to this day, a very powerful part of my heart and soul!
Only my death will put these memories to rest…… Now, as the school year got
under way. My spirit of adventure was emerging form the smoke and ashes that
almost killed it! Don was introducing me to a different kind of chase. The
chase would be thrilling….. But the catch would be absolutely intoxicating!! In
line with this, more changes were about to come my way that would have an affect
on every fiber of my existence! Maybe two months after school started, a new
kid moved onto my street… The kids name was…. Joyce! Twelve years old, a
beautiful redhead with green eyes that pierced your soul when she looked at
you! At least that’s how I felt! J Joyce lived on the
same side of the street that I did, about eight houses up close to Teresa,
scary! The day I saw her in school, I was in love!! She was even in my class! I
told Don I found the woman of my dreams! Don asked me: “What about Valerie?” I
said: “Valerie, whose Valerie?” J My poor broken heart was at last starting to
beat again! I still missed my little boy life and my friends… I especially
missed Duke. In fact I can’t tell you how many times I would look down to see
where Duke was, I was so used to him always being there… L Now, I have a new
objective…. I need to find a way to meet this new girl on my street! Don said I
should just ride up into her yard and knock on her door! No way in hell was I
going to do that! One day I saw her ride her bike up the street heading toward
Euclid, I jumped on my bike and took off after her riding like the wind!! She
was heading for the little neighborhood store that sat on mountain Ave. Across
the street from Maxwell school. I caught up to her just before she got to the
wash. Casually, I said: “Hi, how do you like living in Duarte?” I was so scared
Annette, My knees were really shaking! Once again I was trying to be brave and
not wet my pants! J She said: “I guess
it’s ok, but I haven’t been here very long, I miss my old friends.” I wasn’t
listening, I didn’t give a dam about her old friends, I was interested in
becoming her number one new friend!!! I said: “My name is Barry.” She said: “I know, we are in the
same class at school you know.” I said: “Yeah, I know but I wanted to tell you
my name anyway.” She said: “What’s my name?” I said: “Joyce, 12 years old, you
live eight house up from me!” She said: “You know a lot about me already!” I
told her most of the girls she’s been hanging out with I’ve known since I was
six years old, they told me what they knew. She said: Would you like to see me
naked?” Just kidding! She didn’t say that, well, maybe inside my head she did! J I
went into the store with her and we just talked about anything, everything,
nothing. My knees eventually stopped shaking. As we were riding home I told her
I have two sisters and anytime you want you can come over and hang out with us…
She looked at me with her mesmerizing green eyes and said: “Maybe, we’ll see.
Oh my God Annette, my heart turned to mush that day! Plus, I did something else
for the very first time…. I hit on a woman without Don standing next to me…. I
am so cool!! I’m a real “Playboy” now!! Well, if you ask me I am… J I
really wanted Joyce to be my girlfriend… My woman…Don said there are to many
pretty girls around to settle for ONE. But I didn’t care. Joyce did come down
and hang out with us once in a while. She liked my older sister, Annie and even
spent the night at our house a couple of times and, of course my sister made
sure Joyce new I was madly in love with her! We were in the dead of winter now,
still 1953! Everybody was in the first stages of puberty…. Or farther! Annie
and Joyce were both well past the “training” bra stage and what was scary… I was
noticing these things, and I liked it!! J At home we were all a group kind
of…Linda from next door was growing up too. She was developing a nice figure,
even though I noticed this, Linda was still just the girl next door. She was
also hanging out with the rest of us all the time. I think she liked Don but if
she did she never said it out loud.
Unfortunately for me, Joyce never did
like me as a boyfriend…L So, here I am in love with another
girl that doesn’t love me! However, there is one thing about her that’s unique
to this day…. One day we were all out in the garage when Don dared all the
girls to play “Spin the Bottle!” To my surprise, They took the dare and we
started playing….. Once again I was scared to death but if Don was going to
kiss girls, so was I! As it turned out,
Joyce was the first girl I ever kissed! It wasn’t much of a kiss though, I
didn’t know the “cool” way to kiss yet! But I sure loved that first kiss. That
day I kissed Joyce, Linda, and even my sister but that was ok… It was all good
at the time! Now it’s 1954. I just turned twelve but I feel like I’m a hundred
and twelve! Running with Don has turned me into a flirtatious playboy and all I
could think about was girls! My seventh grade school year was turning out much
better than my sixth grade year! But once again fate was going to deal me a
“hand” from the bottom of the deck before I turned thirteen. Turning twelve
wasn’t really a very big deal to me. However, I was now well on my way into
puberty! Girls were my number one interest! Thanks to Don! What I really wanted
was to be thirteen, I wanted to be a “teenager.” I hated it that Don was
fourteen now and I’m only twelve! I felt older, Don had me looking older, but I
was still only twelve! Once in a while Don’s older brother, Dick, would ask us
if we wanted to cruise Pasadena with him on a Saturday afternoon? Hell yes we
wanted to go! Dick had a cool fixed up Chevy with “spinner” hub-caps. This was
at least ten years before chrome rims made their debut. Cruising around
Pasadena was so cool! Now, I really felt like a teenager! Don was used to
this…. His older brothers already taught him how to drive. For me this was the
neatest experience ever! I have never been so far away from home unless I was
with my parents! Of course, this time I told mom I was going to Pasadena with
Don and his brother, as long as she knew where I was going and who I was with….
She let me go. Looking back, I think mom could see that Don was getting me
passed the sadness and depression from losing Duke, my boyhood friends, and the
groves. Plus, mom really liked Don, he was quiet, and always respectful. Don
was always charismatic, a charmer, so everybody liked him. Dick knew a lot of
people in Pasadena. A lot of pretty girls too! The girls were years older than
Don and myself but they would especially tease me. One pretty blond about
seventeen, put her hand on my cheek saying: “ boy, your going to break a lot of
hearts with those sexy blue eyes when you get older!” I turned beat red! Don just looked at me and smiled ..J We
had a lot of fun cruising around with Dick. We went to a Bob’s Big-Boy drive in
restaurant in Pasadena. Do you remember those restaurants Annette? You parked
your car, a waitress came out and took your order, came back and hooked a tray
to your window with your order on the tray! Cool times huh? I sat there in
Dick’s car spellbound. Pretty girls were every where! The coolest cars in the
world were just cruising through the restaurant, the drivers showing off their
cars! I literally dreamed of the day when I had my own customized hot-rod so I
could cruise through places like this, pick up pretty girls and show off my
car! Don had four older brothers. They taught him everything he knew. Plus, he
got to observe them in action when they were hitting on pretty girls. I watched
Don flirting with girls that were sixteen or seventeen years old! He was never
going to get to first base with any of them, But he hit on them anyway just
because they were there! It seemed like there was a lot going on in Pasadena in
those days. Lots of teenage hangouts, lots of places to go! Well, in my twelve
year old eyes it seemed that way. Back in Duarte, I still loved my little
redhead Joyce. But she hung out with the popular kids…. That let me out! I was
never considered handsome, you had to be handsome and good at sports to be
popular. That wasn’t me.. K-sera-sera! However, just about everybody in the
whole school knew I had a crush on Joyce thanks to my older sister who was in
the eighth grade in the same school I
went to… Myself, Joyce, and what was her name? Oh yeah, Valerie, were in the
same class only now I no longer cared if Valerie was there or not! Even though
Joyce would never like me as a boyfriend, she did like me. She came down and
hung out at my house all the time. So during class we talked and teased each
other every chance we got. Sometimes we would slide our desks together while
working on a class project! I loved every minute of it! One day I was standing
next to Valerie’s desk which was close to the teachers desk, waiting my turn to
hand in my home work. Valerie was working on something and without looking at
me she asked:“ Barry, do you like Joyce?” I said: “Yes. I do.” Her voice seemed
sad, but this was the first time she has spoken to me in over two years! She
asked me: “Does Joyce like you?” I said: “No.”
At that moment I didn’t realize it,
but later on it dawned on me, Valerie still didn’t want me, but she was sad
that I longer wanted her! Bummer! Anyway, it’s to late for Valerie. My crush on
Joyce was real! But running with Don had me, and my life moving in the fast
lane…. I was in fact, growing up to fast for my own good! I couldn’t see that
when I was a really “cool,” really “Hip,” twelve year old! My spirit of
adventure was alive and well!… Anything Don wanted to do, any place Don wanted
to go, I was ready to go with him. Usually on a Saturday night we would get
dressed up and head for Monrovia to go to the Lyric theatre, if I remember
right, the Lyric theatre sat on Myrtle Ave. The very first time we ever went to
the show… As usual, I was scared beyond scared because I knew being with Don
this was going to have something to do with girls! Sure enough, once we got
inside the theatre Don looked around until we found two girls sitting by
themselves…. We sat right behind them…. We saw them look at each other and
smile! Don gave me a nudge with his elbow letting me know this is a done deal!
A couple of minutes passed and both girls got up and left! I thought, well what
the hell, that didn’t work! But, they came back! Only now, when they sat down they moved one
seat over so that now there was an empty seat right next to each of them! I
looked at Don and he smiled. Don whispered, “ Follow my lead.” He got up and
saying “excuse me” He went passed both
girls and sat down next to the girl on the inside! I thought, Oh My God! Don
looked over his shoulder at me and I knew what I had to do! Trying not to wet
my pants, I got up and sat next to the other girl! I felt like I was going to
throw up! We weren’t sitting next to these girls two minutes when Don put his
arm across his girls shoulders! Dam,…. Dam dam dam! Once again, I knew what I
had to do….So I did it! I put my arm around my girl, and she let me do it! AND,
I didn’t die! This is sooo cool! Swear to God Annette, we didn’t even know
their names yet!
Now, if that wasn’t bad enough, Don
up and kissed his girl… And she kissed back! Now I’m on the verge of having a
heart attack! But, if Don did it, I knew he expected me to do it too, so I did
it! I kissed my girl and she kissed me back! Ok, I said to myself: “SELF!” This
is better than 7-up! I still wasn’t much of a kisser but my sister told me
after kissing her that time we played spin the bottle, I need to open my mouth
and don’t kiss like your kissing your mommy! So I kissed with my mouth open but
no French kissing yet, I didn’t know about French kissing yet! That would come
later! That’s ok though, this kind of kissing was fantastic! We kissed all
through the movie and didn’t get their names until after the movie was over! We
didn’t really care about their names, we just wanted to kiss pretty girls lips!
And that’s what we did!!! J We went to the Lyric theatre almost
every week end looking for lips to kiss! I eventually got over my fear of girls
and I loved smooching! The winter of
1954 turned to spring. I thought about Duke, I thought about my orange groves,
It made me sad..L It was, the end of an era!…… The
Monrovia day fair was coming some time in May. A celebration of Monrovia’s
birthday as a city. Don had no intention of missing this celebration! Every kid
in Duarte and Monrovia was going to be there! And so were WE! As Don said, this
place is going to be crawling with pretty girls! And it was! We kissed a lot of
girls at that fair, we were sad to see it end! L But the month of May, 1954 wasn’t
done with me yet! There was a storm coming and my chance of being a young care
free teenager would be taken away from me and I would have no say in the
matter… At age twelve, old man that I am… I’m learning that life is indeed a
journey with lots of dangerous curves in the road, lots of ups, lots of downs!
But, how could I have prepared myself for this? It was on a Saturday,
mid afternoon. I was down the street at Don’s house. As usual, we were excited,
making plans to go to the show tonight. This time we called a couple of girls
we already met and smooched with on a previous Saturday night and they said
they would meet us at the show… There was a knock on Don’s front door, his mom
answered, she came into Don’s bedroom and said I need to go home right away! I
asked her why, she said she didn’t know but that was my sister at the door and
she was crying! I couldn’t figure out what in the world was going on… Nobody
ever came to tell me to come home… I was always home in time for dinner and
right now it wasn’t any where near dinner time. Annie was crying, Annie never
cries. I told Don I better go home and see what’s going on. He said: “Do you
want me to come with you?” I said: “If you want to.” Don and I headed up the
street toward my house not really concerned about anything, in fact, we were
arguing over whose going to get which girl at the show tonight! I looked up the
street and saw a Highway Patrol cop on a motorcycle driving away from my house!
I said: “What the hell?” I started
running…. Don was right beside me! When we got to the house, everybody was
crying, mom, both sisters, and my little brother! I asked mom “What’s the
matter?” Mom said: “Daddy was killed in
a car accident! My heart stopped! I was shell shocked! I was standing there
looking at my whole family crying! I didn’t know what to do, I wanted to hug
mom but she was holding Gloria and Dennis the two youngest. Don put his hand on
my shoulder but only said: “Oh no, I’m sorry Barry!” My older sister Annie, was
just sitting in a chair crying her eyes out! I got knots in my stomach… I had
so many questions but right now wasn’t the time…. This was earth shattering, my
life changed that day in ways I could never understand at that time! You know,
I cried when I lost Edwin and Earl, I cried when they burned down my orange
groves, I cried hysterically when Duke died! But on this day, with my whole
family crying over dad being killed in a car accident… I didn’t cry! Don was quiet
but he went to Annie and sat next to her putting his arms around her letting
her cry on his shoulder. It only took a couple of minutes for the news that my
dad was dead to spread through the whole neighborhood and everybody was coming
right into our front room. All the kids we knew came over, so did their
parents. Joyce came in the front door, she was already crying. I hugged her for
a minute but she went to mom and put her arms around her. The three girls next
door, Janet, Leona, and Linda, came in together and all three were crying. Tom
and his brother Glen came in and stood by me.
Their mom and dad
followed them in. All the kids and all of their parents were in my house! All
the women were crying, and so were some of the guys! It was a horrible experience!
In those days a neighborhood wasn’t just a neighborhood…. We were all family!
When something happens to one of us, it affects the whole neighborhood! That’s
just the way it was. Everybody was trying to comfort Mom, but face it, there’s
nothing anyone can do, there’s nothing anyone can say at a time like this…. My
emotions were gone! I’m sure I was in total shock! I still remember that day
like it was yesterday! I couldn’t feel anything, I wanted everybody to leave, I
wanted everybody to stop crying,…. I wanted to leave….. Actually I wanted to
die! Eventually, everybody did leave. Well, everybody but Don. My mom had long
since adopted him as her third son, and like I said, Don was always quiet and
respectful. He didn’t even ask, he just stayed with us. He called his mom and
told her what happened and that he was going to stay at my house for a while.
She understood. I’m having a hard time writing about this part of my life. I
write a paragraph and then I have to quit for a few minutes…..Anyway, Don was
proving to be a really good friend. He didn’t talk a lot but he was there, for
my whole family…..Don was a friend in the truest since of the word! It’s hard
to find a friend like Don, it always has been. He literally altered his life,
his whole routine and stayed close to me and my family for days. My dad wasn’t
killed in Monrovia or in Duarte. It was in National City, it was a little city
between San Diego and Tijuana… That’s right, My dad and another guy were both
drunk on their way to Tijuana. What they were going there for was obvious, back
in 1954 there weren’t many places to go where you could get lots of sex, drugs,
and alcohol all in one place! My dad wasn’t driving though, our family car was
in the driveway. He rode with his friend, I never knew who it was, just another
one of dad’s drinking buddies, and he survived the accident!
So, when we went to
dad’s funeral, we had to go to San Diego. We were taken to the funeral by my
aunt and uncle who also had two kids. So, my uncle’s car was full of kids and
adults which meant there was no room for Don. I don’t think he wanted to go
anyway, it was on a school day so he went to school. Because Dad was a veteran
of world war two, he was given a military funeral with a 21 gun salute, the
whole thing….. I was glad when it was over! My mom, and my brother and two
sisters were a wreck! I cried at dad’s funeral but not as much as everybody
else! My life was changing fast at this point even though I didn’t see it then!
Like I said before, dad never gave us kids a lot of attention but he was always
there, he was a hard worker and a good provider for his family. The war ruined
him and that’s what got him drinking! However, I’m not making excuses for him,
millions of young men came home from the war and didn’t start drinking and
chasing wild women….. I was in fact angry that dad went out and got himself
killed leaving his wife and four little kids behind! And for what? For illicit
sex and alcohol! My older sister was thirteen, I was twelve, both of us well
into puberty. It’s at this time when a child really needs his or her parents…
Both of them preferably. Now my dad is dead and buried…. And I’m angry, for me,
my life takes a turn for the worse starting with dad’s death….. But, I still
had about two weeks of school left of the 1953/1954 school year. Don stayed by
my side and I could tell that everything my family was going through was hard
for him too. We didn’t go out on week ends, I wasn’t in the mood so we just
stayed home and hung out. When school was out for the summer, and it started
getting hot, Don talked me into going swimming at the Monrovia swimming pool. I
didn’t really want to go but I could tell Don needed to do something, so we
went. Actually, I was glad I went. While we were at the pool I felt better for awhile.
A lot of kids from school was usually there and it felt good to swim and play
around with everybody for the whole day!
Mom it
seemed was never going to smile again, it made me sad because I didn’t believe
she deserved the “hand” life dealt to her! Mom was a part time waitress but it
wasn’t going to be enough to pay the bills so she was both desperate and
bewildered not knowing how she was going to care for all of us. I decided I
needed to do something! So I got a paper route making fifteen dollars a
month… Not bad but not enough, So I started mowing lawns with an old “push
mower!” The next thing I knew I was making between forty and fifty dollars a
week! Back in 1954 most married men with a family were lucky if they were
making sixty dollars a week! But, I didn’t stop there, I would also wash cars
and work trucks for people in my neighborhood. Cars were a dollar, trucks could
be anywhere from two to five dollars depending on how big the trucks were. All
the money I made I gave to mom to pay bills. If Don and I were going to go
somewhere I would ask mom for a dollar or two and she always gave it to me…..My
dad had been working in road construction and made pretty good money for 1954.
However, a lot of his money went for booze and other women! I didn’t drink or
smoke, or chase wild women! Well, ok, ok, Don and I chased girls, but that was
natural for a twelve and fourteen year old boy wasn’t it? J More
than once mom would say: “I don’t understand Barry, how is it that your coming
home and handing me more money than your father ever did?” The answer to that
was easy, like I said, as yet, I have no “vices!” No one had to tell me
this….What I was doing was the right thing to do! It took a lot of stress and
responsibility off of mom’s shoulders, all the bills got paid every month! Working hard was good for my heart, good for
my soul! It cleared my head and slowly, it pulled me up out of all my
depression! Something else I didn’t know back then….Work, hard work was good
for my troubled heart! Most days Don worked with me! This was worth more to me
than silver and gold! We laughed and played and joked and goofed around with
each other all day while we worked …. It felt good to laugh…. Once again, light
was coming back into my eyes!
Don knew I was giving all my money to
my mom and he never once asked me to pay him for working with me! That’s just
the kind of friend he was! But…. When he saw how much money I was making, he
set out to get some “Lawn-jobs” of his own! He never did get as many as I did but
now when we went to work, I helped him with his and he helped me with mine. It
was just more fun to work together, so that’s what we did.. The tragedy of
losing my dad faded into the past. I grew up that summer in 1954. Don became my
absolute best friend of my life up to that time. After that day, when my father
was buried in a large military graveyard in San Diego, California, I have never
once returned to that place! He shouldn’t have left us right when we needed him
the most! It left my baby brother with emotional scars that ruined his life!
But, life wasn’t done with us yet! My whole family would be faced with many
hardships, troubles, and broken dreams as time move forward. However, right now
summer was hot! Don and I were working hard in the hot hot sun! On some days we
couldn’t take it and instead of mowing lawns we jumped on our bikes and headed
for the pool! This was especially good for Don because he knew there would be
lots of pretty girls in bathing suits to flirt with! Plus, it was fun for me
too, It was always a fun day when we went to the pool. But ditching a day of
mowing lawns had it’s price! It meant we were going to work twice as hard the
next day. Of course, the fun we had made it all worth while. J Don always got phone numbers from girls he flirted with, and
he trained me well, I usually got one or two phone numbers myself…..So, at
night we had more fun calling one of the girls we met that day at the pool and
flirting with her on the phone! People in those days didn’t have multiple phones
in their house…. So Don and I would have to sit real close to each other so we
could both hear what the girl was saying…. Mom would see us sitting close like
that and tease us saying we looked like lovers! I didn’t like that but we never
stopped doing it because we didn’t want to miss out on something the girl was
saying!!! J Once again week
ends would find us at the Lyric theatre smooching with pretty girls! It felt
fantastic to hug a pretty girl close and kiss her soft sexy lips! Mmmmmmm,
better than ice cream! Don was really happy to see me coming out of my
depression, but of course, so was I!
My sixth and seventh
grade years did everything but kill me! I lost everything, and I mean
everything that was near and dear to my heart! Over and over again I felt like
I didn’t want to live anymore…..Then, something worse would happen! I’m still
only twelve but at times I really do feel like I’m twenty years old! Now, I
can’t help but wonder what life has in store for me next..….Well, whatever it
was…. I was ready for it. So far I’ve taken everything life has thrown at me
and I got passed it. The future no longer scares me. Through all the hardships of the
last two years… One good thing came out of it! My friendship with Don, which
proved to be stronger than what I had with Edwin and Earl! Of course, I’m older
now, so maybe that makes a difference. School will be starting soon. I can’t
believe it, I’ll be in the eight grade! My last year of elementary school! I
couldn’t help but wonder what all was waiting for me during this 1954/1955
school year…. I wouldn’t have to wait long to find out! Don and I both had to
scale back on our lawn jobs when school started, we wouldn’t be able to do that
many jobs and go to school too. Of course, this would mean less money for me to
give to mom and I worried about how we would keep our bills paid during the
school year! Well, as it was, it took a few months but mom started getting
money from the government because of dad’s death. She got one hundred dollars a
month for being a widow…. Then she got fifty dollars a month for each of us
kids for a total of three hundred dollars a month! So, with the money mom made
being a waitress plus her tips, and the money I was still able to make with my
paper route, (which has grown to $20.00 a month) and my week end lawn mowing
and car washing, we were doing better than most people on our street!
Unfortunately, something I didn’t know was going through mom’s mind…. She was
starting to worry about me working as hard as I was only to give all the money
to her! I wish she would have talked to me about it but she didn’t… At least
not until after I was all grown up….. So life never stops throwing you another
curve! At church mom met and secretly married a man seven years younger than
she was! That would prove to be one the biggest mistakes of her life! But right
now, Don and I were excited! School was about to start, September, 1954! Once
again, Don, Tom, and myself rode our bikes up to Maxwell school to see who our
teacher would be and who all would be in our class. My teacher was Mr. MaCord,
my second male teacher during my elementary school years. He was also a
preacher at some church on Sunday’s. Amazingly, Joyce and Valerie both were not
in my class this year! I can’t remember if I was happy or sad about that…….
Actually, I don’t remember anything
about Valerie as we started the eighth grade. But I saw Joyce everyday. I
thought I still loved her and her red hair and sexy green eyes. But this year
love was in the air and cupid was going to teach me some things I could never
learn in school! This year Maxwell school was full! Don was really happy about
this because it meant lots of new pretty girls just waiting to meet him! I
don’t remember what kind of grades Don got but all he seemed to care about were
girls! The school year started in a wind storm! Don and I were the “Bad Boys”
of Maxwell! Almost from the beginning I started losing interest in my little
Joyce! So many new girls to look at, to flirt with, To maybe someday smooch with at the Lyric
theatre! J
One morning, As usual, Don showed up at my house bright and early! He
insisted on us getting to school as early as possible… Why you ask? Why else,
more time to flirt with any girls that came to school early! But this
particular morning Don was more excited than usual! I could see it in his eyes!
He didn’t say anything until we left the house… As we started up the street he
said: “We have to get two girls to go out on a date with us this Saturday
night!” I said: “What do you mean go out on a date?” He said: “Look, my brother
who still lives in Pasadena, his name is Norman, called me and told me he would
come and get the two of us and our dates and take us to the drive in movies
this Saturday night! Right away I got knots in my stomach! So I asked: “Just how do we get these dates?” Don shook his head….
He said: “you get a date by walking up to a girl and asking her if she would
like to go out with you on Saturday night!” Oh my God Annette!
Since I
met Don we’ve done some pretty wild things when it comes to girls…But I have
never had to walk up to a girl cold turkey and ask her to go out with me! I
didn’t know if I could do this! I told Don: “That’s going to be very
embarrassing!” He said: “Why?” I said: “ Because while I’m standing there asking
some girl to go out with me, I’ll be peeing down my leg!” He said: “No you
won’t, if I can do it you can do it, besides, I already know which two girls we are going ask!” So
I asked: “And who might that be?” He said: “ Janet and Virginia, both in the
seventh grade!” That’s just great, both of these girls are very pretty, and
both have what you call a racy reputation! Anyway, Don said he would ask Janet
which means I have to ask Virginia! God help me!! The two girls were good
friends so you would usually see them somewhere on the school grounds together…
Sure enough, we saw them standing just outside there classroom…. My knees
started shaking! Don didn’t think twice! He said: “Come on, lets do this.” He
walked right up to Janet and said hi! Of course, remember, Don was a good
looking guy! Janet smiled and said hi back! Everything Don did, I did! He said
hi to Janet, I said hi to Virginia! I wasn’t good looking like Don but I was an
eighth grader, I’m a status symbol! Other seventh grade girls will be envious of
Virginia being asked out on a date by an eighth grader! So, we both asked them
if they would like to go to the show with us on Saturday night… Janet asked:
“What show will we be going to and how will we get there?” Oh my God….Oh my
God! It looks like their going to say Yes!!! Don said: “My older brother and
his date will take the four of us to a drive in movie in his brand new Buick
Century!” Annette, you should have seen the look in these girls faces! I
thought they were going to wet their pants! Going out on a date with a boy, to
a drive in movie, in a car! This is grown up dating! This is what the big kids
do! They jumped at the chance to do this knowing every girl in the seventh
grade will be totally jealous when they hear about it!
Well, I certainly knew how they felt, I’m only
twelve, Virginia was only twelve, Janet had just turned thirteen but still, all
of us except Don was about to go out on our first teenage style date! This was
going to be so cool! As we walked away don looked at me and asked: “Well, did
you piss your pants?” I just smiled and said: “Almost!” Now, I’m so excited I
can’t wait for Saturday night! Don got Janet’s phone number so we could call
her and talk to her a couple of times at night after school! It was all
arranged by phone… We will pick both girls up at Virginia’s house on Saturday
night… I asked Don: “What kind of money will we need for this?” Don said: “We
should both have at least $5.00 bucks on us!” Boy, $5.00 bucks….This is going
to be an expensive date!! JSaturday finally arrived. I had lawns
to mow, cars to wash, and my paper route to take care of but I got it all done
in plenty of time. Actually, Don and I split up on this day so we could get
everything done early! … Because we weren’t together there was no goofing around
with each other, that way things got done faster! When mom got home from work I
gave her all the money I made that day and then, with “puppy-dog” eyes I asked
her if I could have five dollars. This is the first time I ever asked her for
this much money! Curious, she asked me why I need that much money…. Up till
now, I have never talked to mom about all the girls I’ve been smooching on
every week end at the show!! I told her: “I have a date tonight, Don and I are
taking two girls to the drive in movies in Don’s brothers new Buick Century!”
Mom had to tease me… She said: “What, my little boy has a date with a woman? I
don’t know if I like that!” I said: “Mom, she’s not a woman, she’s twelve, and
I need $5.00 dollars to take her to the show!
Mom hugged me saying: “I guess my
little boy is growing up…You’ve been carrying the responsibilities of a man for
a while now, I should have seen this coming but I didn’t. I thought you would
be my little boy for a couple more years at least.” I said: “Sorry Mom.” She handed
me back all the money I just gave to her telling me now that she was married to
Melvin, She didn’t me to give her all my earnings! I liked this new turn of
events! It meant I no longer had to work as hard as I have been…. But, it also
made me a little sad to think that mom didn’t need to rely on me anymore to
keep the bills paid… L But right now I have more important
things on my mind! I had to get cleaned up… Had to
shine my shoes, iron my shirt! Tonight, I have to look super cool for my hot
date! When I went down to Don’s, he was ready to go! He looked at my shoes, he
looked at my shirt… He nodded his head in approval…. I asked: “Do I look
ok?” He said: “You look really cool
“Daddy-O!” I needed Don’s approval or I couldn’t face the girls! Don’s brother
finally showed up… Holy-Moley …. Annette! His date was named Diane, nineteen
years old and absolutely gorgeous!! Right away she asked me if I would like to
see her naked! Ok, ok I guess I just dreamed she said that! J Off
we went to pick up Janet and Virginia…. This was all so new to me I had
butterflies in my stomach! When we got there, they were both ready. Don and I
both went to the door, introduced ourselves to Virginia’s parents being very
polite and gentlemanly. Don knew how to pour on the charm when he had to….We
let the girls get in first. They sat in the middle, Don sat by Janet next to
the door. I sat by Virginia next to the other door. Those old Buick’s were big
but with all four of us in the back seat we were forced to sit real close to
each other…. Perfect! I was into the “Game” now and didn’t need to follow Don’s
lead… He trained me well and I knew what I had to do! I reached over and took
her hand… I said: “you look very pretty tonight.” Virginia smiled and even
though it didn’t seem possible, she squeezed my hand and moved closer to me! I
said to myself: “SELF!” This is going to be a really cool night! I glanced at
Don, he smiled at me, we both knew we were in for a smooching good night…My,
my, my!! Boy, did I ever underestimate what this night had in store for me! It
seemed like we drove for a long time and I had no idea where we were but
finally, here we are, at the Starlight drive in theatre on Rosemead Blvd. In
Rosemead, California. Don’t ask me what was playing, I do not remember! We
barely got inside the theatre, parked the car, hooked the speaker in the
window, I decided I wasted enough time! I put my hand on Virginia’s chin
turning her face toward me, I kissed her gently, her lips were soft, something
I hadn’t really noticed in all the other girls I had kissed before this! I
liked the way Virginia kissed….She set my heart on fire! I liked that too….I
thinkJ Virginia
looked at me and said: “Wish me a happy birthday!” I said: “Happy birthday, how
old are you?” she said: “I turned twelve yesterday!” I told myself, she must
have started kissing boys early to kiss as good as she does, like me kissing
girls, I also started early…It was all good. Both girls were in dresses but of
course, all girls wore dresses back in those days! I was really occupied with
kissing on Virginia’s lips to notice I was setting her heart on fire just like
she was doing to mine! I didn’t even realize I had put my hand on her leg just
above her knee…. Softly, gently, my whole world came crashing down around me!!
Virginia quietly,
softly, gently, put her hand on mine and moved it under her dress and up to
that place that all men seek!!! Here we go!!! I’m shaking like a leaf again! So
far, up till now all I ever did to a pretty girl was kiss her! I loved kissing
girls! I never once tried to go beyond kissing!! Now…. Here Virginia is forcing
me against my will to touch her “little flower” AND… I LOVED IT!!!! I haven’t even touched her breasts yet!
However, I decided that if she’s inviting me to be this intimate with her I
might as well check out these cute little “bumps” on her chest! So that’s what
I did! I loved her little breasts!! This is the coolest thing ever!! I knew
right then, I was forever hooked on girls breasts… Yes I was!! But, Virginia wasn’t
done with me yet! While I was totally lost in the thrill of all her charms… She
reached over and unsnapped and unzipped my jeans! Oh my God Annette! I was
hoping I wouldn’t start to pee all over everybody in the back seat!! So now,
while I’m touching her, she’s touching me, and I loved it!! Back when I was a
little boy something like this made me feel very confused and uncomfortable….
Not now!!! J This was better than
ice cream! I’ll never forget that night, never, ever! That was the night
Virginia showed me what sex between a boy and a girl was really like! And I
loved it, yes I did! J
Now, I’m in love with Virginia!…..
The following Monday I told Don I’m going home with Virginia after school and
I’ll catch up to him later. When school let out
for the day I left with Virginia. I already told Don where I was going and he
just smiled. We took her bus and then walked from the bus stop to her house.
Going inside there was nobody there. I still thought nothing about it, thinking
maybe we could do a little kissing, touching, and then I would head for home.
Boy, was I wrong! She led me into her bedroom and closed the door, coming over
to me she kissed me and pushed me back onto her bed, we kept kissing. She
stood up and took off her dress, then her little bra, then her panties. I
started shaking again!! Somehow, I knew what was coming next and sure enough
she smiled and said: “your turn!” By now I was already growing body hair so I
wasn’t going to be all embarrassed because she had pubic hair and I didn’t, we
were both 12 and both at about the same stage of puberty. The big difference
here was I’m still a virgin but to my surprise Virginia was not! She just turned 12 which means she already had intercourse while she was 11
years old! But things were moving to fast for me to dwell on anything other
than what was about to happen right here on her bed hopefully before her
parents got home. I knew nothing. Intercourse was still totally unknown to me
but Virginia was going to change all of that in the next couple of minutes, and
she did, she literally had to show me what I had to do to complete this union
and stumbling through the whole experience I managed to make love to my first
woman! I was no longer a virgin This took place around March 1954. Already
there were serious changes looming on the horizon that would forever change
everything connected to me, especially my family..... I went home with Virginia a couple more times over the
next month. I felt an attachment to her I guess because she was my first. However,
Don told me not to get to attached. I asked “why not?” Then he hit me with a
bombshell! He said she has sex with high school guys all the time! I said your
kidding! He said Janet told him she has 15 and 16 year old guys come over to
her house all the time before her parents get home from work. Up until Don said
that I thought it was just her and I, boy I was hurt to think about her making
love to other guys when I wasn’t there. I never again had anything to do with
her after that day, in fact, the very next day at school, I avoided her
altogether! During lunch break she came up to me and asked: “Barry, are you mad
at me?” I lied and said no… She asked me: “Are you coming home with me after
school?” I said: “no, I have to go to work after school.” I lied again. Her
eyes were killing me! She knew I was lying… I saw tears in her eyes as she
said: “Ok, maybe tomorrow, and she walked away…I never spoke to her again. I’m
sure she knew I must have found out what she’s been doing and with who, she
left me alone after that day…. but for the rest of my life I would think about
her when I heard a certain song or even if I drove by a drive-in theatre, I
would remember the night I took her to one. She must have been really molested
bad for her to be so promiscuous starting at age 11. Today, when I think about
her I get sad doubting if she’s even alive now. '
Only once, a few days
later Janet approached me and tried to tell me that Virginia really likes me
and she’s not going out with anyone else since she started going out with me!
It was to late, my heart was broken, that’s the end of it…. I lied again…. I
told Janet I already have another girlfriend, Neither her or Virginia ever
bothered me again! But I never forgot my first love, My “first time” with a
beautiful blue eyed angel living in Duarte, California. I have thought of her
from time to time over the years,… I wonder where she is… Did life treat her
good… Were the years kind or unkind to her… Did she get caught up in the drug
scene of the sixties…. She would be sixty nine years old as of this writing,
but God only knows where she is and if she’s still alive! So, here I am once
again at the beginning of another school year nursing a broken heart! I was sad
everyday. Don couldn’t understand how I could get so emotionally attached to a
girl! There were so many girls running around, he thought I was crazy to fall
for any “one” girl….. But I was different than Don, Starting with Valerie on….
I was a hopeless romantic which only got worse with the passing of time…. I loved
being with a girl, she belonged to me, I belonged to her…. I loved it that way!
But, Don was still my best friend, it mattered to me what he thought or how he
felt about things, He was older than I was so I always looked up to him. Plus,
as long as I was running with Don…. There was going to be girls…Lot’s of girls,
and I have to admit, when I was hugging and smooching with some pretty girl,
the pain in my broken heart didn’t hurt so much. Only now there’s a new
problem…. Virginia introduced me to a whole new world of sex, bubble gum, and
rock and roll! Well, maybe “Dew-Wop.” J
Now, I’m not
satisfied with just hugging and kissing a pretty girl! I know for a fact they
have “Treasures” …. Hidden treasures, and I want it all!!! However, in those
days very few girls were like Virginia… But I discovered that if a girl liked
you, she would let you touch “stuff.” … If you know what I mean. J So I became addicted
to hugging and kissing, and touching! MMMM MMMM Better than Ice cream! Now, at
the ripe old age of twelve, I most likely have kissed more girls than most boys
have by the time they were sixteen! And I probably touched more breasts than
boys have at that same age! I’m an experienced lover!…. Trained well by
Virginia! I’m no longer afraid of girls for any reason! I can work like a man
and even make more money than the average man of the 1950’s! I’ve experienced the heartbreak of losing
Valerie, of Joyce never liking me as a boyfriend, the death of my lifelong
companion Duke, the death of my dad, and the shock of learning that Virginia,
the girl that took my virginity, was a 1950’s Slut!! I grew up way to fast!
Life’s hard experiences turned me into a man and I’m still only twelve years
old! Of course, I have to give Don some credit for pushing my growing up
process into the fast lane. After all, he had me kissing girls when I was still
only eleven years old! I learned life’s hard lessons! Puberty, girls, and sex,
makes life extremely complicated! You can forget the carefree days of roaming
through the orange groves and the desert! Forget the days when I thought God
put little girls on this earth just so boys could tease them and be mean to
them….Forget all of it!!!…….I’m moving much to quickly into adulthood now. My
little boy days will forever be nothing more than a fond memory of happier
days… Days I have not forgotten even yet!
One day Don told me
to pick out an eighth grade girl and ask her to go with you to the Lyric
Saturday night! At the time I didn’t understand why he wanted me to
specifically ask an eighth grader to go out with me, but later on I realized he
was looking out for me knowing that most seventh grade girls would know each
other and he didn’t want me going out with someone who would start talking
about Virginia. Ok, that’s cool. I had been noticing this girl in my class. Her
name was Lorraine, she was a pretty, dark haired girl with big dark brown eyes.
She let part of her hair come down over her right eye… I thought that looked
incredibly sexy! So I said to myself: “SELF!” this one will be your date for
Saturday night! Well, Oh my God! What if she says NO! Remember I said I’m no
longer afraid of girls?… I LIED!! Don told me to get this date lined up on a
Monday night after school. I really do remember things like this because it
caused me so much anxiety, I never forgot it! Tuesday went by, I couldn’t get
up the nerve to ask her. Wednesday went quickly by… Didn’t have the nerve to do
it… Dam! Don said: “You have to ask her before Friday, no girl will go out with
you on the same day you ask her!” I said: Friday’s not the night we’re going
out.” Don said: “It’s the same thing, You won’t see her in the daytime on
Saturday! You have to ask her tomorrow, Thursday! Dam! I said: “Ok, tomorrow it
is!” I wasn’t feeling good about this at all! I had noticed a dorky guy named
Paul showing a lot of attention to Lorraine but I could tell she didn’t like
him, at least that’s the way it seemed to me! All day Thursday I kept looking
for the right time to ask her, I was sure I was going to throw up! At recess she
was always with a group of girls… Not a good time! School was about to let
out…. I guess I won’t be going out with her this Saturday, Dam! The bell rang….
School was out! Dam! Don was going to be mad! I started out of the class room
mad at myself for being a chicken! As I walked down the hallway I glanced back
over my shoulder and there she was! Right behind me! I slowed down and let her
catch up to me! Ok, it’s now or never! So I said: “Lorraine, are you allowed to
go out on dates?” Her expression was totally blank! I couldn’t tell what she
might say next. All I could do was try not to pee in my pants!!! So I held my
breath! She just looked at me and said: “Of course.” That’s a good sign…. She
could have said no if she didn’t want to go out with me! I said: “Would you
like to go to the lyric theatre with me Saturday night?” I’m dying here! She
said: “Sure, but I have to ask my parents first.” Major weight just lifted off
my shoulders! I asked: “Can I call you tomorrow night and you can tell me
then?” She smiled, I loved her smile! She wrote her number on a piece of paper
and handed it to me… Don will be proud!! Now I have my date all set for
Saturday night. Friday at school I placed a note on Lorraine’s desk in front of
her! My note said: “You look very pretty today. I’ll call you tonight at seven
ok?” I watched her as she read the note… She looked up at me smiling and nodded
her head meaning yes, call me at seven! So I did!…. And yes, she can go to the
show with me! This was so cool, a girl from my own classroom was going out with
me! Saturday, Don and I had to hurry up and get all our work done as fast as
possible! We could already taste the sweet lips we would be kissing later
tonight! When our work was done, Don went home to get ready, I went home to do
the same. Mom already said she would take us and pick us up… Everything was
ready! When Don walked in the front door, I knew something was wrong! I said:
“What’s the mater?” He said: “My date just called and cancelled, she has to go somewhere
with her parents.” I asked him: “Can’t
you call someone else, you have a hundred phone numbers?” He said: “It’s not
cool to call and ask a girl out one hour before it’s time to pick her up!” So,
I had to smile as I said: “Then I guess you get to sit back and watch me
kissing on Lorraine huh?” Don smiled back and said: “In your dreams, I’ll get
me a girl when I get there.” Actually, there was no doubt in my mind that is
exactly what he would do! Off we went to pick up my date! When I knocked on her
door she opened it and came right out closing the door behind her! I didn’t
have to meet her parents, that was
strange for those days but I didn’t care… All I could think about was kissing
Lorraine’s sexy lips!! When we got to the show we went straight to the “snack
bar” to buy a coke and popcorn… As I turned to hand Lorraine her coke and
popcorn…. Standing only a few feet away was Virginia and Janet! Dam! There was
still a place in my heart for my blue eyed hottie! Our eyes met for a couple of
seconds, All I could see in her eyes was sadness which in turn made me sad too.
That pretty much ruined my first date with Lorraine! We went up to the balcony
which is where lovers go to smooch! If you didn’t have a date you sat in the
lower part of the theatre. Don headed to the lower section and I wondered if he
would try to hook up with Janet and Virginia. I would be really upset if he hit
on Virginia but Don wasn’t like that! His friendship is loyal and he stayed
away from both of them and I know he did it for my sake!
Sitting next to Lorraine all I could think
about was the look on Virginia’s face, the hurt I saw in her eyes was squeezing
the hell out of my heart! I felt like a jerk for breaking up with her all
because of her past. She really did like me and was no longer doing anything
bad…. I AM a jerk! I was glad it was dark so Lorraine couldn’t see the tears
forming in my eyes. Even though I brag and make statements claiming to be a
man, I’m still only twelve years old, I couldn’t accept what I found out about
Virginia! It was too difficult to deal with, it hurt too much! So, I was
unforgiving…. Something that has tormented me for the rest of my life! Lorraine
knew I had dated Virginia, hell everybody knew, it was a small school. But
Lorraine didn’t say a thing about me making eye contact with her, I’m glad, I
really didn’t want to talk about it!
Well, my first date with Lorraine wound up being a real “wet blanket.” I
did manage to kiss her a few times before it was time to go. I started to like
her a lot and dated her exclusively on a regular basis! I kept passing notes to
her during class, something I haven’t done since Valerie! Only now, being
trained by Don, my notes were incredibly romantic! Lorraine said she loved my
notes, they made her feel special!…. EXACTLY!! A couple of times I saw
her showing one of my notes to her girlfriends… I didn’t mind, it made other
girls want to go out with me just so I would write romantic notes to
them…..Good for business! JBut for now,
Lorraine and I are dating regularly! So one day at school I asked her if she
would wear my ring? She said: “I thought you would never ask!” … I gave her my
ring and she wore it around her neck on a chain…. Lorraine was my first girl to
wear my ring telling everybody we were going steady! Lorraine was fourteen
years old! As old as Don! I was so proud of myself! After all, I had me an
older woman…. I loved that! Eventually, I grew to love my fourteen year old
girlfriend. Virginia faded into the past…..Don would get mad and jealous at the
same time! Mad because I was sticking to just one girl! Jealous because I was
spending more time with Lorraine than I was with him! Nothing I could do about
that, Don was my best friend but I was in love with Lorraine! Plus, she had
“Stuff” I wanted to touch, Don didn’t ! J As Lorraine and I got closer
and closer, She would let me touch her sexy breasts in the darkness of the
theatre, they were bigger than Virginia’s! After all, she was two years older
than Virginia! I loved kissing her soft
sweet sexy lips! By now I have turned into a pretty good kisser… But as yet I
haven’t French kissed anybody! I’m not even sure if Don has French kissed a
girl yet. If he has, he never said anything to me. Up till now, I didn’t know
that French kissing was the “Lovers kiss!” But I did learn other things about
1950’s girls! When I put my hand on Lorraine’s knee, I would let it slide to
the inside just a little…. This is going on while I’m kissing her…. If she
closes her legs tighter together… It means forget it… and I do! However, If she
even ever so slightly opens her legs just a little bit… It means I can go
“Treasure Hunting!” And you know I do!! J I wanted to make love to Lorraine but how? Her mother didn’t work and
even though my mother did, somebody was always in my house! So we never made
love, but I loved her anyway .Lorraine was quiet, and easy to be with. She
loved for me to lay my head in her lap while she ran a comb through my curly
hair! I don’t know why but girls always liked my curly hair…. I didn’t mind! J During school recess we would sit together out on
the grass and talk… I got lost in those beautiful brown eyes, they sparkled in
the afternoon sun! Her eyes were mysterious and I couldn’t help but wonder what
was going on inside her pretty little head! We would kiss but never
passionately…. I didn’t think that would be right to kiss like that out in
public, so I never did it. At night, after school, after my paper route, after
dinner, I had to call her so I could hear her voice, I loved the sound of her voice
on the phone! Don was irritated because all I could think about was Lorraine,
but I didn’t care. I called her every night to tell her I love her, to say
goodnight and see you at school tomorrow! If I for some reason didn’t call her
one night to say I love you and goodnight… The next day at school she would be
upset with me… So I made sure I never forgot to call!
Days became weeks, weeks became
months, from September to late November we were lovers, boyfriend, girlfriend,
there was never a time my ring wasn’t around her neck. The notes I handed her
during class were always romantic and full of expressions of love… after all, I
thought I really did LOVE her! That’s what my heart was telling me! I
would look across the room and catch her looking at me smiling… From across the
room I could see her beautiful brown eyes… God I swear I could see eternity in
her eyes!… I wanted to get up and go kiss her but I knew better! One day after
coming into class at the end of lunch recess, Lorraine killed me! She stabbed
me in the heart with a knife! When I lifted my desk top to pull out my school
work… there it was…. My Ring!! Lorraine broke up with me by putting my ring in
my desk when I wasn’t there! I picked up the ring and looked at it, then I
looked at her, she didn’t look over at me! Without any warning, without a word
spoken…. Lorraine didn’t want me anymore! L We never had an argument, not even a
disagreement! All we ever did was laugh and talk and kiss! I was in total
shock! I wanted to cry right there, in class, but I didn’t … I wanted to….When
school let out that day I took off like a bat out of hell! I didn’t even wait
for Don! I went home and went into the garage and started crying…. If Duke were
here he would be upset too, licking my tears from my face and he would be
crying too, ….. He always did…………. Don knew something had to be wrong, I never
ever walked home without him by my side! He found me in the garage and I had to
tell him Lorraine broke up with me, he asked me why but I had no answer….I
didn’t know why! Don helped me fold my papers that day and he went with me to
deliver them on my paper route, I know I say this a lot but he really was a
good friend. I was glad he was there, it made me feel better, I would have been
miserable delivering them all by myself!
I wound up not just being hurt…. I
was angry too! It was a cowardly way to break up with me! She could have broke
up with me face to face…. She should have handed me my ring and then explained
why she didn’t want me anymore!… she should have….. But she didn’t…………… I
couldn’t understand why this keeps happening to me. I didn’t think I was a bad
person. I loved my family, I loved people in general, I loved animals, and
reptiles. In my whole life up to the day Lorraine broke up with me I had never
hurt any living thing! But…. Here I am back to square one again….. It didn’t
seem fair, but I’m starting over again!! …….I told Don I think I’m going to
have bad luck with girls all my life! Don just smiled…. He didn’t have to say
it out loud, I have been really close to him for a while now so I knew exactly
what he was thinking! I shouldn’t let myself get attached to any one girl!
She’ll break your heart every time!……. I was beginning to see the wisdom of his
thinking! I decided…. After Lorraine, I would never give my ring to another
girl!…. It wasn’t worth the pain! I told Don I was done going steady with
girls! I want to kiss every pretty girl in Monrovia/Duarte at least once! Don
smiled and said: “Welcome to my
world!” The Maxwell Bad Boys
rides again!!!! December, 1954, it was dead of winter. A couple of weeks went
by, I ignored Lorraine, I had nothing to say to her, nothing……….. One day as
class was letting out, I was preparing to leave….Suddenly Lorraine was standing
right next to me, she touched my shoulder and asked: “Don’t you speak Barry?” I
looked at her eyes, they were sad…. I said: “ And say what Lorraine, you gave
me back my ring…. You made your point.” Those words proved to
be the last words I would ever say to her forever! I walked away from her
without looking back, when its finished, its finished! What was she expecting
me to do? Beg her to take back my ring? Is that what this was, a test to see if
I would come crawling to her begging her to take me back? Well, if that’s what
it was, she screwed up! I may only be twelve but I’ve had dozens of girls drift
through my arms, my hands have touched a third of them in places I
shouldn’t have touched! One made mad
passionate love to me numerous times!… I don’t beg! I never looked at Lorraine,
never smiled at her again… She faded into my past. Actually, as traumatic as it
was, I was able to distance myself from Valerie, Joyce, Virginia, and Lorraine
in a way I could never have anticipated! We were approaching the end of
December, 1954…. Our two week Christmas vacation was coming up…. Mom hit me
over the head with a hammer! On the last day of school before the Christmas
break mom said: “Barry, you have to tell your paper route boss your quitting!’
I was confused…. I asked: “Why?” She said: “we’re moving, you also need to do
something about your lawn and car washing jobs as well!…..My brain was
catatonic! Moving? What the hell… My whole life was here…. In Duarte, on Wesley
Grove! We can’t move! I’ll die! I can’t leave Don…. I’ll never find another
friend like him! My emotions went into serious turmoil just thinking about
everything and everybody I would leave behind when we moved…. I wanted to
Die!! I asked mom: “where are we moving
to?” She said: “El Monte, twelve miles from here.” I never heard of El Monte!
Where the hell is El Monte! I didn’t want to go but I knew I had no say in the
matter…. We were moving and that was that… Dam! During the two week Christmas
break, we started packing up! I was able to turn my paper route and all my lawn
and car washing jobs over to Don. Don helped us move so he could see where I
was going to live. He said: “This isn’t so bad Barry, we can ride our bikes to
and from El Monte and Duarte and we can see each other all the time! I always
listened to Don and what he said made sense, and it made me feel better too. I
never got to say goodbye to all the kids I’ve been going to school with since I
was six years old! I don’t know why mom and my step dad, Melvin kept this a
secret, but they did. They went house hunting without telling us kids. Then,
when they bought one, they waited for it to clear Escrow and they knew for sure
we were moving, and then they told us we were leaving Duarte. None of my
ex-lovers knew I had moved away during Christmas break! I thought about all of
them but what the hell! It was probably better this way…. Goodbye girls, I’ll
never forget any of you!!
El Monte seemed strange and unfriendly,
Once again we moved into a new tract of houses. Nobody had their yards, or
flowers, or bushes, planted yet. The neighborhood seemed exposed and barren! I
didn’t like it…. My whole life… All my friends…. The world I grew up in was
back in Duarte…. I wanted to go back…. I wanted to go home.. L One
thing I liked, my back yard faced a riverbed! It was dry all summer but in the
winter a regular river ran right down the middle! Beyond the riverbed was a
small airport….The El Monte airport it was called. Of course, I’m not the same
little boy I used to be so I didn’t see this as a new world that needed
exploring… But it was a cool place to go hiking, even horse back riding! For a
dollar you can ride a horse to the Valley Blvd, bridge and back. I enjoyed
doing this every once in a while when I had the money. Christmas vacation was
coming to an end, I had to get ready to attend a new school …. Gidley school
was the name. I would be meeting new kids I’ve never seen before! I didn’t grow
up with any of them! My insides felt uneasy! I don’t think I was afraid, But
definitely nervous! I missed Don right away! I missed him a lot! It didn’t seem
right being at school without Don being somewhere on the school grounds! Even
my older sister, Annie, who went to the same school with me my whole life,
Wasn’t here! She’s in the ninth grade and enrolled in Rosemead High school for
the rest of her ninth grade school year! I felt totally alone! I was assigned
to Mr. Fouts class. He was a big man but he was nice, and he was fair… With
everything Don ever taught me still spinning around in my head, the first thing
I started taking notice of was…. All the pretty girls! Even to this day I can
still remember the names of some of the pretty girls in my class…. I remember
Beverly, she had really big breasts! There was Gail…. She liked a boy in class
named Irvine. Then there was Shirley, she was going with a Mexican boy named
Bernie. I sat next to Shirley and wound up having a crush on her that never
went anywhere! Then there was Cora Linely, she was pretty but she had a big
butt and a bad reputation! And, there was a really popular girl named Judy … She was absolutely gorgeous!… Way out of my
league! However, she lived on Ranger street, one street over from my street.
So, once in a while I walked home with her… I felt super special just being
seen with her walking next to me. The
last time I saw Judy, I was standing in a liquor store across the street from
the Driftwood Dairy on Lower Azusa Rd. I was seventeen, she was eighteen. She
was all dressed up in red with nylons and high heels…. I never saw a creature
as beautiful as she looked that night! I smiled at her and said hi…. After I
bought my cigarettes I turned and said to her: “Are you a model Judy, you are
gorgeous!” she gave me a really big smile and said: “No, not hardly, I just
work in an office.” I said: “You missed your calling, you should be a model!” I
walked out of the liquor store and never saw her again!
But fate has a funny way of having paths cross
again somewhere along the way in the stream of time! In 2002, I found Judy
“online,” On “Classmates.com….I was sixty, she was sixty one. We carried on
what you would call an “online relationship” for three years… Then she emailed
me one day telling me she was just diagnosed with inoperable cancer! She said
she had to go to Texas to try an experimental procedure…. I never heard from
her again…… I guess she died!L Anyway, boy, I
guess I got carried away a little didn’t I?
Where was I? That’s about it for what I can remember about pretty girls
in Mr. Fouts class. I do remember there were some pretty Mexican girls in my
class too, but they sort of hung together, they didn’t seem like they wanted to
talk to a “gringo!” So I never tried to flirt with one. If one would have ever
smiled at me … I sure would have flirted with her! It didn’t matter to me what
race a girl was…. If she was pretty, I was willing to flirt. I lived by that
rule my whole life! Well,
well, well! Now it’s 1955 and after a month and a half at Gidley school… On
February 18, I finally turned thirteen!! Dam! Finally I’m a “teenager!” I
thought I would never reach thirteen and yet….. I feel like I’m a hundred and
thirteen years old!! I have lived so much of “life” it seems impossible that
I’m only thirteen! But, that’s what I am!! At least now, I’m no longer a
“Pre-teen”…. Of course, I’ve been living like a teenager for over two years now
but, …. As I enter my teen years…. Little did I know that I was entering what
would prove to be some of the darkest days of my life! As it turned out, the
kids at Gidley school were ok, they were friendly…. But I missed Don. I didn’t
want to make friends with anybody… I really didn’t need another girlfriend! My
heart already felt like chopped liver! I couldn’t take another girl breaking up
with me at this point in my life! So, I went to school, I came home…. That was
it…However, I must mention that living right next door to me was a beautiful
girl named Dorleen! …. Unfortunately for me, she was sixteen, so of course, she
considered herself much to old for me! L She was a Sophomore in high school
and there was no way she would be seen with a thirteen year old boy! Bummer L She
became good friends with my older sister and she came over everyday after
school…. She had a really cool personality and I liked being around her! I
could tell she liked me too, of course, Don taught me well so I turned on the
charm every chance I got! I was always telling her how pretty she is… I would
tell her she was a lot of fun to be around and how cool she was… I could see it
in her eyes, she loved hearing the things I would say to her! Of course she
did! Women loved to hear things like this about themselves! Don knew how to
sweep a girl off her feet…. And he taught me how to do it too! Proof of this…..
One day I was sitting next to her on the couch, we were just talking, and
teasing each other…. When out of nowhere she looks me dead in the eyes and
said: “I wish you were older Barry… I would go out with you!” Dam it to
hell! Why can’t I be sixteen!!
….Humans….. we’re never satisfied are we? My time at Gidley school seemed to go fast! I
chose not to flirt with any seventh or eighth grade girls. I knew if I did …
somehow I would wind up falling in love with somebody! I put a shield around my
heart… Now I’m safe….Or am I?
At first, Don rode his bike to El
Monte on some week ends. He wanted to see where the kids hung out at…. Wanted
to check out the pretty girls! OF COURSE ! this is Don we’re talking
about here! J Only problem was…. I didn’t know
where any hang outs were, or if there even were any places like that in El
Monte. But that’s ok, As don said, the Monrovia day fair was coming up, so I
had to come back to Duarte and stay with him during the week end of the fair! I
liked that idea a lot! Almost all the kids I grew up with will be there! I miss
all of them!! I’ll be able to see them… I can tell them why I moved without
saying goodbye… This will be good for my heart!
So, where am I? Ok, lets get back to it.
Even before we got to May, 1955…. I got into a fist fight with a kid named
Herold, he was a big dufus of a guy in my class! He had to be at least 5ft.
8in. tall, fourteen years old, weighing in at around 160lbs. Or more! Remember,
I’m only thirteen, 5ft. 4in. tall, maybe! I probably weighed about 125lbs.
Well, I made the very big mistake of thinking Herold was to dumb to know how to
fight! That son of a bitch almost killed me!!!
In fact, if a couple of other boys who were on my side hadn’t stept in
and pulled Harold off of me, he probably would have! Boy, I learned a big
lesson in life that day! Never assume anything, It makes an ASS of U and ME! Not even at Gidley school four
months and they almost expelled Herald and I both! I lived in fear the school
would call and talk to my mom about this fight but they never did! Mom gave me
more freedom than most guys I knew got from their parents. But I also knew….
With the freedom she granted me came responsibility! Mom would have beat me
within an inch of my life if I ever embarrassed her over anything I got
involved in! And I better request for a priest to give me my “last rights” if
she ever, and I mean ever had to go down to the police station to get me for
any kind of unlawful conduct! That’s the way she was….That’s the way I was
raised! With no margin for error! I wasn’t afraid of the police….. I was scared
of mom! It was a healthy fear of disappointing her because I knew she expected
more of me, because of that, I would strive to meet her expectations…. That
also, was just the way it was…I think Herald was just a big dumb kid, but he
was as strong as an ox! I never pissed him off again! A few years later his mom
and dad were drinking in a little beer bar right on Valley Blvd. And Arden Dr.
His dad wanted to leave, his mom didn’t. There was a drunken argument, Herald’s
dad went out, got in his truck, drove down Valley Blvd. A ways, turned around
and sped up to over sixty miles an hour and plowed right into the bar killing
Herald’s mom and five other people! I totally felt sorry for Herald. His mom
was dead and his dad went to prison…. That left him without parents and all
alone! I don’t know what happened to him after that, I never saw him again.
When we first moved to El Monte my step dad seemed to be a nice guy… But little
by little his true colors started to show. It became obvious he married my
mother knowing she just lost her husband in a car accident and thinking she had
a lot of insurance money, he wanted to get his hands on it. Well, there was no
insurance money! My dad’s death left us in debt and mom and I had to work hard
to pay our bills. When Melvin finally realized mom was really broke…. He became
bitter and started mistreating my family…. I began to hate this man! Anyway, in
may, 1955 I left El Monte on my bike heading for Don’s house up in Duarte…
Basically, this is a twelve mile ride up hill. I rode east on Lower Azusa Rd. To
Peck Rd. Turned left on Peck and rode north all the way passed Live Oak Blvd.
And the Edwards drive in theatre until I came to California St. Still riding
north on California St. I rode to a little side street but I don’t remember it’s name. I turned right on
this street which took me to Wesley Grove and to Don’s front door. At thirteen,
this ride didn’t even phase me! J It’s Saturday, the Monrovia day fair
actually started the night before, Friday night. But mom didn’t want me riding
my bike that far at night so I headed out early Saturday morning so Don and I
could hang out all day before going to the fair. We were in luck! Don’s
brother, Dick, who has the cool customized Chevy was going to the fair too, he
said we could go with him….So we did……. It was so cool to be cruising around
the fair in a teenage “hot-rod!” You wanted every kid you ever knew to see you
in this car! You know what this means Annette? … The Maxwell Bad Boys rides
again!! J When
I’m with Don…. Everything seems right, it was where I wanted to be! I knew we
were going to have fun! The fair was full of pretty girls just dying to be
kissed by us!
Dick showed us where we had to be at
midnight and he said we better be there or we will have a long walk home, then
he took off to go find his high school buddies….Don and I had our own agenda!
Of course Don wanted to meet new girls, to kiss lips he never kissed before….
And…. I was with Don, it was time to prowl! It was still daylight but that’s
ok, there were rides, (like the tunnel of love) that were completely dark! Just
made for smooching! And who knows what we might accidentally touch in the
dark!! J But,
as fate would have it, right away I started running into kids I grew up with. I
had a lot of explaining to do and this takes time! But I felt good inside as I
told them the situation surrounding my move to El Monte! They were all kids
just like me…… They never heard of El Monte. Don got restless and I happened to
look over my shoulder just in time to see him getting on the “tilt-a-whirl” with
a cute little blond! Dam! He’s starting without me! As the crowd of kids I was
standing with began to drift away, I promised all of them I will never stay
away from Duarte! I’ll see them at the Lyric theatre, or the swimming pool in
the summer, I promised….I did…. I really did……. By now, Don was no longer on
the tilt-a-whirl so I started cruising knowing we would cross paths eventually.
I was feeling so good Annette, I still remember these feelings after all these
years! I was so sad over leaving Duarte without saying goodbye to all the kids
I’ve known since I was six years old! Yes, of course Don told some of them what
happened to me but it wasn’t the same, how could it be, the kids needed to say
goodbye to me as much as I needed to say it to them… We were schoolmates,
classmates, friends, ….Literally 50% of our lives we have all been together. It
wasn’t right what mom and Melvin did….. just up and moving us out of Duarte,
not giving us a chance to say goodbye. That goes for my brother and two sisters
as well… They also had lifelong friends they never got to say goodbye too… They
weren’t like me….. I had a restless spirit…. Deep down inside I knew I would be
back in Duarte someday! I was right!….. I was so intent on finding Don I wasn’t
even noticing all the pretty girls that were just dying for me kiss their
lips!!! J All of a sudden…. Out of nowhere, my beautiful green eyed
redheaded angel, Joyce grabbed me, hugging me like she would never let me go! I
loved being held in her arms! I thought lord, I could stay right here forever!
It was only at this very moment that I realized that I have been gone from
Duarte for almost five months! When your thirteen, five months can seem like an
eternity! Right now though, I was lost in the arms of the girl who never loved
me the way I once loved her! When Joyce finally looked into my eyes, I saw
tears in hers. She said: “How could you do that Barry, I live eight houses up
from you…. How could you just leave without coming up to my house to say
goodbye?” I knew she was right. It was inexcusable for me to just leave! I
could have rode my bike to her house and explained to her what was happening….
But I didn’t. To this day I don’t know why I didn’t… I just didn’t …..I had to
say something, so I said: “I’m sorry Joyce, I know I should have but everything
happened so fast, I had to help pack everything up and before I knew it we were
headed for El monte, didn’t Don tell you?” she said: “Yes, but you should have
come and told me yourself, what if Don didn’t tell me? I would never have known
what happened to you and your family!” Once again, I knew she was right. I felt
like a heal! As I said before, she never liked me as a boyfriend, but she did
like me. When she came down to my house to hang out, I would spend hours
teasing her and kidding around with her. We were close, just not as close as I
wanted us to be! We long since quit hugging each other and were just talking.
God she was so beautiful1 As the sun was setting and the lights to all the
rides started coming on…. I wanted to kiss her in the worst way but I knew
better! I watched the lights to the giant Ferris Wheel come on… We were
standing right in front of it …… I looked at her and said:
“will you forgive me, and go for one ride on the Ferris Wheel with me?” she
looked up at the huge Ferris Wheel, then she looked at me and smiled…. She
said: “ok, just one ride, and when we get way up to the top and stop…. I’ll let
you see me naked if you want! Ok, ok,
She didn’t really say that but I think I heard those words inside my head! J……
However, she did forgive me, she even took my hand as we got into the
Ferris Wheel seat and sat real close to me… It really was very romantic way up
at the top of the wheel, the sight was gorgeous! All the citys lights were
coming on now … The moon was sitting low on the horizon, I wanted to sit right
there for another hour! All the night lights sparkled in her beautiful emerald
eyes, I looked at her and all I wanted to do was tell her: “I’m falling in love
with you all over again….Will you marry me?” I wanted to… But I didn’t. I’ve
known for a long time that this angel would never be mine! As we got off of the
Ferris Wheel I said thanks Joyce, that Ferris Wheel ride will be special to me
for the rest of my life! She smiled and hugged me again. We started walking
along just talking so I had to asked her if she has a boyfriend yet…This time
she didn’t look at me, she just shook her head no but she said she likes Larry.
Larry I’ve known since I was six, he’s good looking, popular, and good at
sports in general. The bad thing for Joyce was, a lot of popular girls all
liked Larry, good for Larry, bad for Joyce. While we were walking, two of her
girlfriends came up to us, I knew one, I didn’t know the other one, It didn’t
matter, Joyce gave me a quick hug and off she went with her friends. I watched
her walk away and wondered if I would ever see her again….……I
had this weired uneasy feeling inside of me and I realized I’m still seperated
from Don… Got to find Don, times a wasting! If I knew Don he would only be
somewhere in the “rides” section but I didn’t see him… Probably on a ride. I
turned just for the hell of it and headed down the section where all of the
“booths” were. You know, where you throw balls at bottles, things like that. A
few booths in front of me, I saw her! It was Lorraine! She was wearing a pair
of really tight jeans, boy her nalgas looked good!! She was with her mom and
dad. What the hell? How can you kiss boys when your with your parents? Bummer
for Lorraine. I didn’t want lorraine to see me so I turned around and went back
the way I came! I want to find Don! I didn’t want to be at this fair all by
myself! I kept cruising for a while and stopped at a concession stand to buy a
coke. Then,I saw her! In a crowded eating area sitting at a table, it was my
Virginia! The one who stole my innocence… she made me do things Annette,…
Things to horrible to mention! I was crying….Saying I want my mommy! She said:
“Not until I’m done with you boy!” Yeah right, You know I loved it!!!! J I saw her sitting at
a table looking more beautiful than I remembered! I really wanted to go over to
her and kiss her just once for old times sake! It’s been five months since I
last saw her, I felt sad, she used to be mine, now she’s not….. L I stood there to long, She looked up and saw me standing
there… There was no emotion in her eyes, she was smiling but when she saw me,
her smile disappeared! She was sitting with a teenage boy, I nodded my head
slightly….It was time to go… Inside I wanted to cry but I knew I wouldn’t….. It
was just a brief moment in time. I turned and walked away. I never saw Virginia
again after that night. But you can never forget the first girl you made mad
passionate love too, it’s just impossible….Virginia is etched into my memory forever!
I know, at the ages we all were, none of us were really in love! But you
couldn’t tell us that back then could you?
Somewhere in the back of my mind I knew there
would be a big chance that I would run into my ex-loves…. I had mixed emotions
about it happening because in one way, I wanted to see them, in another way I
didn’t …. All in all, I think it was good for me, even though I only talked to
Joyce, I got to see them once more after I moved… I didn’t know this then, but
it was kind of a closure for me and I remember feeling better after I saw
them….. Sadly, I didn’t see Valerie that night, I wanted to… But if she was
there, we didn’t cross paths… Fate can be a fickle lady at times. I’m still
looking for Don! I know he’s here somewhere, I just need to keep cruising….
I’ll find him, eventually…….. I have too, I know I’m not going to have any fun
until I do… Suddenly, I heard someone calling my name! I looked to find the source. I
knew it wasn’t Don… You know why? Because it was a girls voice calling me!
I finally saw her but I didn’t know what to think…. It was Janet, Virginia’s
girlfriend! …. When she caught up to me she hugged me, it was the first time
she ever did that! She asked: “What happened to you Barry, where did you go?” I
guess Don didn’t say anything to Virginia or Janet. So I told her my story. Her
response was the same as all the other kids…. Where the hell is El Monte? It
was good to see her… Actually, she was prettier than Virginia. So it didn’t
surprise me that she was attracted to Don, he being better looking than me. I
asked her: “Have you seen Don, I’m looking for him?” She said: “I saw him a
little while ago, he was with some girl.” I noticed Janet was frowning when she
said that. L I actually felt sorry for any girl that had a crush on
Don… He was my very best friend, he meant more to me than I would have put into
words back then. But his four older brothers turned him into a “whore-monger”
and any girl that fell for him was only going to get hurt.
Of course, Don was a
major influence on me, I still looked up to him. But I loved girls, my
heart fell in love with any girl I got close too! I refused to view a girl as
just a toy, and when you grew tired of the toy… You moved on to the next toy….
I admit, I smooched and touched a lot of girls, same as Don did… That’s what we
did… But most of those girls were looking for the same thing, a boy to smooch
with tonight, a different boy to smooch with tomorrow night. We were just kids,
our hormones were surging out of control. But most kids back then were
decent…We were raised decent…Things were different back in those days. Janet
surprised me! She said: “Do you want to go on the caterpillar ride with me?”
Well, hell yes I do! I would go through the gates of hell with her if she asked
me too! So of course I said, as calmly as I could: “I would love too!” We had
to go find it and as we walked, she held my hand! I felt so special holding
Janet’s hand and I hoped all our friends would see me doing it! I didn’t
understand these things back then but what was happening here was Janet wanted
all her friends to see her with an eighth grade boy! After all, that’s why we
all went to the fair…. Boys wanted to pick up girls, and girls wanted a boy,
hopefully a cute one to pick them up and take them on rides! Its what made the
world go round back when we were young right? The “Caterpillar” ride was a
roller-coaster, after it started moving a green canvass came up and over
covering us! From the outside it looked like a big green caterpillar, but
inside… it was totally dark! Don’s influence shifted into high gear! I said to
myself: “SELF!” Don’t lose the moment! So I didn’t… I reached over and touched
her chin turning her face toward me and I kissed her!! She was kissing me back!
Her lips felt like I was kissing the lips of an angel! I still remember that
kiss Annette! Her lips were soft and HOT! I wanted my lips to stay right where
they were for the rest of my life!
But,
suddenly, the canvass rolled back and the ride was over! Dam! I was so hot and
horny I think my eyes were crossed! I guess Janet was pretty hot too! She
looked at me and said: “Let’s go again!” So we did, but this time I got bolder!
After all, everybody knows that Janet and Virginia both “Put-Out” as the old
expression goes… This time I put my hand in her bra and lord have mercy! Her
breasts were smaller than Virginia’s but I did not give a dam! They were
incredible to me… she was wearing a skirt so my other hand made its way under
the skirt and up to where her “treasures were just waiting for me! The ride
lasts maybe three minutes, but in that short amount of time, I touched all her
stuff Annette, and I loved it!!! J What pissed me off
was I knew if I just had some place private to take Janet, she would have made
mad passionate love to me! Dam it to hell! Back then opportunities like this
were few and far between…. Total bummer… But alas! It wasn’t meant to be. I
never got to make love to this beautiful 1950’s slut! This night at the fair,
with Janet….Proved to be the last time I would ever see her! But I never forgot
her! When we finally got off of the ride, she took my hand again, she started
walking in a definite direction… I asked her where we were going, she said it’s
almost 10:00 O’clock, my mom will be here soon to pick me up. We walked to
where she was to meet her mom, She wasn’t there yet. We sat down on the grass
to wait, so I thought, what the hell, I kissed her again… Dam, she kisses
better than Virginia! I wanted to ask her to marry me…. I wanted to….But I
didn’t….
Her mom finally
showed up and Janet said goodbye, jumped up, ran to the car and drove out of my
life forever!! L Funny, you don’t think about stuff like this
at the time. As I watched her drive away I figured I would see her again
someday, I was never going to stop coming back to Duarte! But, that was the
last time I saw Janet. Bummer…..As I turned to head back into the fair I came
face to face with Don! I said: “Where in the hell have you been?” He smiled and
said: “Having more fun than you I bet!” So I smiled and said: “well, I don’t
know about that, I just spent the last hour with Janet, we went on a couple of
rides and I touched all her stuff!” Don’s eyes got real big as he yelled:
“What, you touched my girls stuff!!” he put his hands on my neck and started
choking me! Thing is… I knew he was kidding but a lot of people close to us
didn’t know what he was going to do to me… It was funny! Finally, I was back
beside Don, now that the night was almost over! Most of the kids were heading
for home. It wasn’t going to be easy to find a couple of girls together that we
could get to go on a ride with us so we could get in on some last minute
smooching before we had to go too. Remember, Don is fifteen years old now, so
there are times when our age difference created problems. He wanted to go talk
to a couple of girls that were obviously fifteen or sixteen years old! I told
Don: “Those girls won’t give me the time of day, their to old!” Don said: “It’s
getting late, their desperate, they’ll go on one ride with us….Come on let’s go
ask them.” Don had this “Line” he used a lot to start a conversation with a
girl….He changed it around but it was basically the same… So here we go… We
walked up to these girls and Don starts out saying: “Hi, what school do you go
too?” ….That was as far as he got! They took one look at Don….One look at me,
and told us to get lost!! I told Don: “See, I told you this would happen!…You
look young, I am young….and their old! Don said: “To hell with them, come on
we’ll find someone.” Actually, this happens to us more than I write about. It
hurt our young male ego’s when girls were mean to us, I still remember those
feelings too, and it’s upsetting to write about them. L So, even though there
were always girls who wouldn’t give us a second look, there were still some
girls who were nice and down to earth and willing to have some fun with the
“Maxwell Bad Boys!!” We started walking… We stopped to talk to some kids we
knew and standing close by was this beautiful blond! She wore these striped
real tight pants. I looked at her and smiled when she looked at me! I said to
myself: “SELF!” “Forget it Barry, she’s way to old for you!” I saw her drop a quarter on the
ground but she didn’t pick it up… So I looked at the quarter, and then I looked
right at her! She said: “Will you do me a favor?” I said: “sure.” Looking at
the quarter, she said: “Will you pick that up for me?” what the hell! I picked
up the quarter and handed it to her. She said: “Thanks, I would have done it
but I was afraid these pants would rip if I bent over!” she seemed like she
wanted to talk so I thought…. What the hell … I
asked her: “What's your name?” she said: “Maryanne.” Then she asked me my name,
so I told her. I couldn’t figure this out! Why was this girl who is beautiful,
and obviously sixteen or seventeen years old, talking to me? But I liked
it!!
I asked her: “What school do you go
to?” She said: “MD.” Which means Monrovia/Duarte high school! I had to talk
fast! I didn’t want her to ask me what school I went to so I said: ‘I don’t
live here, I go to school in El Monte.” She changed the subject and asked me if
I had fun tonight, of course I said: “Yeah, I liked going on all of the rides.”
She asked me: “Did you go on the “Tilt-a-whirl?” I said not yet.. I’m on a roll
now! J She
said: “Would you like to go on it right now?” I said: “I would love too.” I
turned to look at Don and I shrugged my shoulders as I walked away with
Maryanne… This is cooler than cool! At the ripe old age of thirteen, I just got
picked up by a beautiful girl who was at least seventeen!! We went on the Tilt-a-whirl and she sat real close to
me while we were spinning around! She even put her head on my shoulder and she
put her arm on my leg! She was laughing and screaming at the same time! I loved
it! I decided to go for it so I put my arm across her shoulder and held her as
tight as I could! She didn’t seem to mind…. I sure didn’t J I decided to take it to the next step! As we walked away
from the Tilt-a-Whirl, I asked her if she would like to go on the “caterpillar
ride real quick? She looked at me and said why not. I said to myself: “SELF!”
I’m going to enjoy this! So we went on the Caterpillar and I wasn’t going to
waste anytime, as soon as the cover went over, I kissed her! And she kissed me
back!! Boy, was I loving this! I couldn’t lose the moment so I put my hand on
her breast on the outside of her blouse! And she let me do that too! How cool is this? Maryanne was my first real
woman that I ever kissed or touched! And I loved every minute of it!!!
I couldn’t wait to brag to Don about
my experience with Maryanne. I knew that night, I would never forget her and I
didn’t! She even gave me her phone number before we said goodbye that night.
Don and I called her a couple of times but she was never home. I gave Don her
number and I never called her again. So, the Monrovia day fair, May, 1955 was a
memory maker for me, some good, some sad, I got to see most of the kids I grew
up with. I saw all my ex-loves except for Valerie…It was all good for my heart.
On Sunday I jumped on my bike and headed back to El Monte. I didn’t like El
Monte, I didn’t feel like I belonged there! I missed Don and Duarte every
single day!
My step dad was getting “meaner” by
the day… I began to hate him with a passion! It was maybe three weeks to
graduation. I was walking down the hallway at school, a pretty girl –not in my
class- was walking toward me, I didn’t know her name so when she looked at me I
said: “Hi chick!” and just kept walking…Well, her name was Clarice…not sure
about the spelling! …. However, the very next day one of her girlfriends came
up to me and said: “ Hey Barry, Clarice likes you and she wants you to call
her!” She handed me her phone number on a piece of paper and walked away! I
said to myself: “SELF!” This could be a good thing, I was lonely in El Monte,
as yet I haven’t made any friends so a girlfriend would be good for the soul! I
know, I know, every time I fall for a girl, she winds up breaking my heart but
Clarice was very pretty so I thought, what the hell! By now I’m a very
experienced flirt! I didn’t wait until I got home to give her a call….. When
school let out that day I waited for her to come out of her class room… I
walked up beside her and asked: “Can I walk you home Clarice?” She just smiled,
shaking her head yes….. I already knew she liked me so I took her by the hand
as we walked off of the school grounds….Lord have mercy…. I was falling in
love! She lived in the opposite direction from my house and it was a long walk
but it didn’t seem like it was long while she was holding my hand! J We
became boyfriend/girlfriend and I walked her home everyday and called her every
night! The
school was preparing all the eighth graders for graduation during the last week
of school…..we went to the school auditorium at night for Rehearsal. They lined us up in alphabetical order … Clarice was
way up in front of me! I was next to last but for reasons I don’t remember
there was a pretty Mexican girl named Annette who should have been behind me,
her last name starting with a “Z!” But she was in front of me! I just couldn’t
help but notice her sexy little “Bo-Bo!”
We had been talking to each other but I don’t remember about what….. I
couldn’t take it any more! I reached out and pinched her cute little nalgas! In
a split second she turned and slapped the hell out of me! But you know what? I
loved it! It was worth the slap and little did I know at the time….Our
paths would cross again in the not to distant future and a long history of life
between us would begin……..We all graduated from the eighth grade in June, 1955
without a hitch. Next stop, the ninth grade, Rosemead, High school! after
we graduated, there was a graduation party that night at a kids house, his name
was Jim, a blond headed guy who was popular at school. His garage was all fixed
up, there were snacks and punch but no booze! A few sets of parents were there
to keep an eye on things and they were taking pictures. You know, a regular
1950’s teen party. It was pretty cool. I had mom take Clarice and I to the
party and I mostly danced slow dances with her and it was at this graduation
party, I finally kissed Clarice for the first time! Before the party ended that
night,….. I did what I said I would never do again! I gave my ring to Clarice
and she took it! I am now going steady with my second girl! I couldn’t help
it…. She was so beautiful, she stole my heart away!……As she took my ring she
kissed me…. It was soft and long like it should be, She had her arms around me,
after the kiss she whispered in my ear…. “If you come over tomorrow, I’ll let
you see me naked!” Ok, ok, she didn’t say that! Dam! I wish I would stop
hearing those words roll through my head! J I called mom around midnight to come
and get us. I walked Clarice to her door and kissed her goodnight…. I knew mom
would be watching so the kiss was quick! After the kiss Clarice said: “Thanks
for the ring,” and went inside. My mother knows a thirteen year old cannot be
in love but she just had to tease me! When I got back into the car, as we drove
away mom said: “So, I guess your in love again huh?” Even in the dark I could
see her smiling! I said with a clam voice: “Yeah, I’m going to ask her to marry
me!” I smiled and mom laughed!
I was supposed to head for Duarte the
day after graduation which was a Saturday. But I called Don and told him I
can’t make it today. Of course he asked why. I had already told him about
Clarice but I knew I was going to catch hell for this! I said: “I gave my ring
to Clarice last night, we’re going steady now!” Don….Exasperated,… said: “Jeeze
barry, your never going to learn are you?” I said: “Don, wait till you see her!
She’s beautiful and I can’t leave her all alone right now, someone will come and
steal her away from me when I’m not looking!” J Don said: “Yeah, yeah, when are you
coming up?” I said I would try to make it on Monday. I took my new woman to the
El Monte walk-in theatre Saturday afternoon but damned if I can remember what
we saw! Clarice was a really good girl ! She was a good kisser too. But when I
accidentally on purpose touched her breast, she pushed my hand away! She didn’t
say anything, but she was letting me know there would be no “Hanky-Panky beyond
kissing! I never did that again. Plus, I loved her even more!! I was proud to
have her for a girlfriend. It turned out I was spending most of my time with
Clarice, I called Don every couple of days. I did go to Duarte a couple of
times and Don always wanted to go girl hunting! The best place to do this
during summer was at the pool, or, if it was a week-end, at the Lyric theatre.
I didn’t want to do it but Don would force me against my will, to sit with a
pretty girl! J Some of these girls were getting
older now…Don, being fifteen, was hitting on girls that were around the same
age, fifteen or even sixteen! And….If Don was doing this….I was doing it too!
The fifteen and sixteen year old
girls were “bolder” than the twelve or thirteen year old girls were in general.
Most girls were guessing my age at fifteen for a while now, of course I’m not
eleven or twelve anymore… I’m much older,… I’m almost thirteen and a half years
old!! Don has me dressing and acting like a teenager since I was eleven, so I
always felt older than I was…. But that’s ok, I kind of liked to smooch and
touch older women! Plus, their breasts were bigger! Nothing wrong with that!!
Don finally came to El Monte so I took him to meet Clarice right away! Clarice
had a girlfriend, she was blond but not very pretty. For the life of me I can’t
remember her name! Don was cool though, he even held her hand when we took off
walking. I also don’t remember if Don ever kissed this girl or not. Actually, I
didn’t care, Don was going to do what Don was going to do…. I know one thing, I
kissed Clarice every time I looked at her…. I couldn’t help it, her lips were
screaming at me to kiss them! So I did!! Later that day, Don and I were walking
back to my house, Don said: “Dam Barry, if you ever decide you don’t want
Clarice anymore, you can give her to me ok?” I smiled and said: “I told you she
was beautiful didn’t I?’ Don only stayed in El Monte for two days before
heading back to Duarte. He was mowing a lot of lawns! He had his own, plus all
the ones I gave him when I moved, so he was pretty busy.
Not long after school
let out here in El Monte. I decided it was time to get to work! I started
walking down my street with my old lawn mower and my yard rake looking for a
lawn to mow! I picked out a house that looked like the front yard hadn’t been
mowed for a while and I knocked on the door. When someone answered, I offered
to mow their lawn for one dollar! I would get the job almost every time! If you
did a good job (which I always did) it would turn into a regular weekly job!
Plus I would usually wind up doing the backyard as well. And if they had a
flower garden, sooner or later they were going to ask me if I would pull the
weeds from the flower bed! I would charge a dollar for the front yard, a dollar
for the backyard, and a dollar for pulling weeds. But, if the backyard was big,
then I would charge a dollar fifty…….. So, if you landed ten jobs averaging
three dollars per job…that is thirty dollars a week! Which wasn’t bad for a
thirteen year old kid! However, I never had just ten jobs, it seemed like every
time I started down my street pushing my lawn mower in front of me on my way to
my first job for the day, somebody, usually a man, would stop his car, get out
and ask me if I could come mow his lawn as soon as I’m done doing whatever I’m
on my way to do right now? Of course, I always said yes! He gave me his address
and off he went! I would get mad because now I have one more job I have to do!
If that wasn’t bad enough, when I went to do the new job….there was always
going to be one or two of his neighbors that wanted me to mow their lawns
next!! Grrrrr L being a landscaper had it’s good
points…. I always had a lot of money in my pocket! … more than I needed
actually! But at thirteen I didn’t want to work as hard as I was! However, I
never turned down a new customer asking me to come mow his lawn next!
How
the hell did I get side tracked onto lawn mowing? Where was I? Ok, fifteen and
sixteen year old girls are bolder than the twelve and thirteen year old girls!
If the older girls liked you, she was going to let you touch all her stuff, you
could almost bank on it! But that was about it! Almost all girls back then
would not go “all the way,” girls that
would were few and far between! But that’s ok, most of us guys were grateful
for what we got! Of course, we went home horny and had to take matters into our
own “Hands” if you know what I mean! J I still miss those
days though….. I miss them a lot! I spent most of my free time with Clarice!
She didn’t have a mother and her dad worked. She had one older brother who was
nineteen or twenty. He worked too, and he wasn’t very friendly. She also had a
younger brother, maybe only ten. I don’t remember much about him, he was seldom
home when we were there! That was fine with me! I could kiss on Clarice all day
while we were alone. MMMM MMMM, better than ice cream!
Summer was hot! I
still hated El Monte! I hated my step dad more every day! I was seldom at home.
I hated being home, it was a horrible place to be! One day I went to see
Clarice and I could tell something was wrong! I could see it in her eyes…. I
said: “What’s the matter?” she said: “my dad just told us we are going on
vacation to Oklahoma for four weeks!” I couldn’t believe it! That’s almost the
rest of the summer! I put my arms around her and held her close….she started
crying…I didn’t know what to say…. Finally Clarice said: “I can’t stand the
thought of not seeing you for a whole month!” I said: “ there’s nothing we can
do about it….you know how much I love you Clarice, I’m not going anywhere, I’ll
be right here waiting for you to come back to me!” she said: “you promise?” I
said: “Cross my heart and hope to die!”….she kissed me. I headed for home but I
was sad. I was really going to miss her… I was going to miss kissing her lips
everyday! I called Don and told him Clarice was leaving for a month….he knew I
was depressed so he said he would come to El Monte for a couple of days….so he
did……before I knew it Don was rolling into my front yard on his bike! How often
I have wished over the years that there were more friends in this world like
Don! Because Don and I both had a lot of money burning a hole in our pocket I
should say something about our bikes. They were three speed racer bikes! Which
is all they had at the time! Ten speeds and beyond didn’t come along until the
seventies, I think. So our bikes were the latest on the market for 1955! Only,
we weren’t satisfied with having the latest bikes available… Hell no… Not Don!
We had to fix ours up to look different … And better than all the other kids in
Duarte and El Monte!
So we went to a bike
shop and bought “high-rise” handle bars… They were called “Risers!” They looked
just like the handle bars “Hells-Angels” put on their motorcycles, or “Ape
Hangers!” To put these handle bars on
our bikes we had to buy longer cables for our “hand brakes,” then, because
racing bikes had thin tires, we had this guy at the bike shop modify our rear
rim and our rear “fork” to hold a “fat” tire! The front one we left alone! We had
the coolest looking bikes ever! But only for a while! Before long, all the boys
we went to school with started doing the same thing to their bikes! They just
had to be like the ….”Maxwell Bad Boys!” Because my step dad was such a jerk, I
stayed away from home as much as I could! But when Don rolled up it was a
Friday evening and he was tired so we didn’t go anywhere. My older sister was a
whore! And her girlfriend, Dorleen, who lived
next door wasn’t much better… they were both always telling me about their
“sex-capades” so I knew they both put out all the time…well, that night after
Don arrived, Dorleen came over and we just hung out on our patio in the
backyard flirting with my sister Annie, and Dorleen……I came up with a plan
right there on the patio that night so I went for it! I asked the girls If they
would like to go hiking in the riverbed tomorrow… I’ll show you something I
found that’s really cool! Of course, my older sister knows I have always been
an adventurer, so she said: “if its snakes or lizards forget it, I’m not
going!” I said: “It’s not anything alive but it’s really cool! If you come,
you’ll see!”
Saturday morning we
all headed for the riverbed! I already told Don where we were going but we
wouldn’t tell the girls… it was going to be a surprise! Ok, you know those gutter drains along the
edge of a highway or main street where water runs down during a heavy rain?
Well, all those gutter drains channel water into a cement tunnel which isn’t
very big… But dozens of those cement tunnels drain into a much larger cement
tunnel that runs out into the riverbed! It’s a storm drain system designed to
keep flood waters off of the street during a rain storm! But during the summer,
they are all empty and dry and extremely dark! We entered the riverbed at the
end of El Monte avenue, it dead ends at the riverbed. Then we headed for the
lower Azusa bridge that crossed the riverbed. Off to the side of the bridge
there was a lot of bushes…. Big bushes, green and plush!…they all followed me
as I worked my way through the bushes and there it was! The mouth of a really
big cement tunnel!!
We all stood there
staring at it…. My sister asked: “what’s in there?” I said: “nothing, in the
winter it’s a storm drain, in the summer it’s dry, and fun to explore!” Annie
asked me: “have you been in there?” I said: “yeah, me and Denny (my kid
brother) have both roamed way into this tunnel.” Annie was scared I could tell!
I said: “come on, it’s cool, don’t be scared!” They all followed. Once you get
in a ways, you can’t see a thing! Annie said: “I’m not going any farther!” So
we all just sat down right where we were and started talking… We only talked
for a few minutes before Don started making his moves! I could tell he was
kissing my sister! I thought of course! Well, I can’t just sit here like a
dummy….. so I kissed Dorleen! MMMM MMMM I like this a lot! That day…… in that
dark tunnel…. Don was having sex with my sister…. And laying right next to them
was me and Dorleen having wild, totally abandoned, mad passionate sex! It was
incredible! I’m thirteen, Dorleen was almost seventeen! I love older
women…their hot… and they go all the way! Dorleen was my second girl to have
complete sex with and I loved it!! Concerning that day in the cement tunnel,
both my sister and Dorleen never talked about it, like it didn’t ever happen!
But Don and I knew it happened and speaking for myself…. I never forgot the
thrill of making love to a sixteen year old beautiful woman in a dark, dark
tunnel! J
Don went back to
Duarte after two days. We both had work to do, and the days passed slowly as I
waited for the return of the love of my life, Clarice! When that day finally
arrived, I went to her house eager to just see her after four weeks! But when I
got there she wouldn’t even let me hug her! I thought what the hell? She said:
“we can’t go steady anymore Barry, I’m giving you back your ring.” And she
handed it to me! I was stunned!! I looked at her but she wouldn’t look me in
the eyes! I didn’t know what to do or what to say, so I didn’t say anything, I
got on my bike and I left…… DAM, broken hearted again!…….. I couldn’t figure
out why Clarice would come back from Oklahoma and break up with me after not
seeing me for a whole month! She cried
when she left just thinking about not seeing me for four weeks…. She comes back
and won’t even let me hug her much less kiss her, she just handed me my ring
and that was that! Well, at least she didn’t do it the cowardly way like
Lorraine did… Clarice broke up with me face to face. I had to respect her for
that!……A couple days later I got a call from Clarice’s girlfriend, the blond I
told you about…She told me Clarice wanted me to know why she broke up with
me….I said: “I would like to know what I did?” she said: “you didn’t do
anything, … Clarice went out with a boy in Oklahoma and because she was going
with you she felt bad being unfaithful, so she gave you back your ring!…
Well, that slut! Who
does she think she is going out with another boy behind my back!!! Ok, I didn’t
think like that! After all, I wasn’t exactly faithful either but I didn’t see
any reason for us to go our separate ways! I’m still to young to know how to
deal with a situation like this…. I told this girl that I appreciate her
calling me and telling me why Clarice broke up with me… it really did help
knowing why. What I didn’t even stop to think about is, Clarice was probably
right there with her friend waiting to see if I would say something that would
indicate I forgave her and wanted her back! If I would have thought about it I
would have said something. I would have forgiven her and taken her back. But I
let the moment get away from me and I said nothing……. Bummer L I just thanked her
for calling and hung up. I wouldn’t have broken up with Clarice for kissing
another boy in Oklahoma, after all, it’s not like I wasn’t kissing and
touching, other girls with Don in Duarte, not to mention making mad passionate
love to a sixteen year old girl who lives right next door to me! But….when it’s over, it’s over, I guess. I
was still sad though. I was excited at the thought of starting the ninth grade
with Clarice by my side! I was going to be all puffed up and proud walking
through the hallways of Rosemead High school being seen with my beautiful
girlfriend walking next to me! Instead, I was just another dumb “Freshman” like
everybody else!…. Bummer. L
At first I was afraid
to tell Don that Clarice broke up with me. I really didn’t want to hear his “I
told you so” again… But the school year was approaching and the summer of 1955
was just about over. I rode my bike to Duarte as much as I could to just hang
out with Don. I knew when school started I wouldn’t get to see him all that
much. The municipal pool was closed for the winter. So we would go to the Lyric
theatre to look for girls to kiss on! At this time of the year everyone had the
up coming new school year on their mind…. Sometimes we would get lucky and find
some girls to smooch with, sometimes we wouldn’t…Bummer again…….The first day
of school arrived and here I am….all alone….it was so sad! J not really, I was
still excited about starting high school! Just imagine, hundreds of new, pretty
girls all in one school, just waiting for the chance to kiss me!! J
well, that crossed my mind…. However, my first day of school, I was with my
older sister, Annie and Dorleen! That wasn’t to bad, all the kids that knew me
saw me with two tenth grade pretty girls! Even if they were both SLUTS!! It was
still cool to be seen with them. At least I thought it was cool! Before school started, Annie and Dorleen walked me to
all my classes so I would know where they were. They helped me find my locker
and showed me how to work the combination…. My first day at Rosemead High
school went really smooth because of my Sis and Dorleen. They got me passed the
anxiety of “Freshman Jitters!” The next day I rode the bus with both of them,
once we were at school, they said: “See you later “Freshman,” and they abandon
me! it was considered uncool to be seen with a freshman, I was on my own! L But hey, basically I’ve been on my own since
I was six and roaming through the orchards in Duarte! This was nothing I
couldn’t handle right? Starting the ninth grade in September, 1955… I was kind
of glad, and kind of sad. During the six months I went to Gidley school I
didn’t make any real friends, not like Don! I got into one bad fist fight! That
didn’t turn out to good for me! I gave my ring to one girl….that didn’t turn
out to good either! So, I couldn’t help but wonder what this new and very
different school year had in store for me…. I still didn’t want to make any new
friends….all I could do is wait and see how things go…Back in June, 1955, only
a few days after I graduated the 8th grade, I was just finishing
mowing my own front yard when a kid from Mr. Fouts class came walking up the
street. His name was Phillip. When he saw me he came into my yard and asked:
“Is this where you live?” I said: “Yeah, since last December.” He said: “I live
on this street to, down at the very end. He had a towel in his hand so I asked
him: “where you headed?” He asked: “you
ever heard of Pudding Stone Dam in San Dimas?” I said: “Nope!” Phillip said:
“you can go swimming there for free, you want to come with me?” I said: “why
not.” He told me to go put my swimming trunks on now because there’s no place
to change once we get there…. So I did. …I grabbed a towel and I was off on a
new adventure!
I never heard of
Pudding Stone Dam and I never heard of San Dimas either! So I was putting a lot
of faith in Phillips ability to get us there and back home safe and sound! We did something I have never done before in
all my life! We hitch hiked! I thought this was so cool! We hitch hiked down
lower Azusa Rd. Past Peck Rd. to Rivergrade Rd. We hitched a ride north on
Rivergrade Rd. To Arrow highway… we turned right and stuck out our thumbs. A
big cement truck stopped to pick us up. There was only one passenger seat in
the cab so the driver told me to sit on a metal rail just behind the outside of
the cab! So I did! This was so dangerous! One big bump and I would have bounced
off of that little rail and under the huge back tires of the cement truck! We
didn’t think of things like that back then… This ride would take us right to
the “Dam.” That was our number one objective…..When we were almost there I saw
two Mexican boys crossing a side street just below Arrow highway… they made a
fist and moved their arm up and down …. A gesture for the truck driver to blow
his horn. But I didn’t know that! Back in El Monte, that same gesture meant
F.U. if you know what I mean! J so anyway, when I saw them do that, I thought they
were doing it to me! So I gave them the “finger” with both hands! I could see
them smiling so what the hell, I smiled and waved at them as we rolled on down
the highway and out of sight! Mostly that whole experience was nothing more
than our young, macho, male ego’s at work. No one was mad…. Just boys being
boys! But all through the years, when I see a cement truck I remember that day!
the things that stick in your memory forever huh? Anyway, Phillip and I made it
to San Dimas and Pudding stone Dam without a problem. We swam all day and then
we hitch hiked back home! I don’t remember the trip home at all, probably
because I was dog tired! Kind of thought
after that day, Phillip and I would start hanging out together but that didn’t
happen…. I didn’t care….But…. I digress!! The first week at Rosemead high found
me alone. I was still adjusting to my daily schedule. At lunch I ate by myself.
My sister and Dorleen had first lunch same as me but they went to the “Student
parking lot” and sat in cars with boys listening to the radio. When they were
done eating, they went cruising around and around the school, that’s what kids
did back then…. They cruised…. However, I was a Freshman, there was no room in
a Junior or seniors car for a freshman! It was to embarrassing ! L So, I ate lunch
alone. Then I just sort of went walking around the hallways looking at all the pretty
girls! By the second week of school I started getting close to a guy in my
fourth and fifth period classes. He was really quiet and really shy! Total
opposite of how I am! His name was John.
Eventually, John and I would become best friends, not like Don and I,
but really close friends just the same. Slowly, I began to like High school, it
was fun going from class to class… I only took five classes because I liked
getting out of school at 2:30 in the afternoon! And, each class had a whole new
set of pretty girls to look at! J High school was cool!
Annie introduced me to another one of her girlfriends at school one day. Her
name was Loretta, she was a blond, her nose was to big for her face but she was
pretty, and she had a great butt! I wanted to marry her someday! I guess Annie
told her my girlfriend just broke up with me so she asked me: “Barry, would you
like to meet a cute little thirteen year old girl?” Well, what the hell am I
going to say to that! Of course I want to meet a cute girl! So I said: “I would
love to, does she go to Rosemead High?” Loretta said: “no, not yet. She’s only in the eighth grade.” So I asked:
“Ok, how am I going to meet her?” Loretta said: “meet me in the park after
school, she lives real close, we can walk to her house together and I’ll
introduce you.” I said to myself: “SELF!” this is so cool! who knows just where
this may lead!
Loretta met me in the
park after school and off we went! My heart was starting to beat a little
faster than normal as we walked toward this “chicks” house! Loretta was right,
she did live close…. We crossed Lower Azusa Rd. and into a neighborhood for
maybe two blocks and we were on her street! As we approached her door, my knees
were starting to knock! Lord, I hope I don’t pee! I’m not really afraid of
girls anymore. I think it was insecurity… I was afraid the girl wouldn’t like
me when she met me!…scary! Loretta knocked on the door….we waited…. And
then….the door opened and Oh…My…God!! This girl was gorgeous! She was a blond
too, but not blond, blond. Her hair was way to light to be called brown…. But
not light enough to be called blond! Her eyes were striking! They were a bluish
green and you felt like they were penetrating your thoughts… all I could think
about was how much I wanted to kiss this girl! Loretta got right to the point,
she said: “Dixie, this is Barry, the guy I told you about… Barry, this is
Dixie, the girl I told you about. I fell in love!…as much as I didn’t want
to….I fell in love anyway!! We just talked for a little while. Loretta had to
go and I didn’t want her walking home alone so I asked Dixie if I could call
her as soon as I get home? She said yes, and gave me her phone number. I walked
Loretta home and headed for Lower Azusa Rd. and started hitch hiking… when I
got home I waited for a while and then I called Dixie….I couldn’t wait to talk
to her some more! She seemed really sweet and I knew I was going to make this
one mine! On the phone she said: “if you come over tomorrow, I’ll let you see
me naked!” Ok, ok, we both know she didn’t say that! Dam, I seem to hear those
words inside my head every time I meet a pretty girl! J I did go over to her
house the next day! And the next, and the next. It was at least a week before I
finally kissed her but it was worth the wait! Her kisses were HOT!!
One day Annie asked
me: “so, are you over Clarice now?” I said: “Clarice who?” As I got closer and
closer to Dixie, I had to know ! you know how it is Annette…I’m a thirteen year
old whore-mongering pervert! I was well trained by Don! My hormones were
surging at the speed of light!! I had to know where Dixie set her
boundaries…..Dixie was being raised by her mom. No dad. Her mother didn’t get
home from work until around 7:30 at night! So we were alone in the house for
about three hours. I would leave just before her mom got home! So one night we
were really into our kissing….started out sitting on the couch but we ended up
with me lying on top of her… fully clothed of course. But I could tell she was
as hot as I was, maybe more so!! I put my hand on her breast….she let me do it!
There was no way I was going to stop there! She still had her school dress on
so I had to see if she would let me go “Treasure Hunting”…. Very slowly I
started sliding my hand under her dress gently caressing her leg as I went….
Was I going to get slapped? I felt her legs open slightly, to make room for my
hand…MMMM MMMM, better than ice cream! J I touched all of
Dixie’s stuff that night…. And I loved it!! I didn’t know what to expect the
next day when I got to her house but I was hoping we could do it all again!
Back on the couch and kissing her like last night, I got impatient and put my
hand under her dress and Oh…My…God! She didn’t have any underwear on! I knew
this was going to be a special night! She laid down on the couch and pulled her
dress up! I didn’t need any more encouragement … I made mad passionate,
abandoned, wild, unrestrained love to her right then and there! Before I left,
we did it again!
Dixie was good, I
could tell she was experienced! Dam I love girls like this! We made love
everyday and…. Lord have mercy…. She taught me all about oral sex and this time
I loved every minute of it, I didn’t want to stop but we had to before her mom
came home and caught us! I had Don come to El Monte so I could introduce him to
my new girl, Dixie! Don said: Dam Barry, where do you find these beautiful
women?” I said: “Just lucky I guess.” J Dixie and I were
together for about two months and what I didn’t know was she had a boyfriend in
juvenile hall. When he got out… she dumped me to go back to him…Bummer! When I
was seventeen, I was listening to the radio one morning and heard it say that a
Donna Wright, her sister and there five children were killed when they tried to
beat a train to the railroad crossing…. Donna Wright’s sister I later found out
was my Dixie! four kids were Donna’s, one was Dixie’s! My heart stopped beating
for a minute! Something like this is hard to accept when your young……
However, back in the
fall of 1955… Once again I was heartbroken when Dixie told me we were through!
I asked her what I did…. She was up front with me and said: “The guy I was
going with before you is getting out of jail and I’m going back to him, sorry,
it isn’t anything you did, I had a lot of fun with you but I promised him I
would wait for him! Well, it was really hard for me to let go of Dixie! We were
extremely sexually active… She introduced me to oral sex, even taught me how to
be good at it!! And just like that….it was over…..Double Bummer!! I should have
known…Dixie was only thirteen, like Virginia, she was dating older guys, much
older than me anyway, which is why she was more experienced than I was!! Not to
mention she dated “Bad-Boys” that go to jail! But I still loved her… I loved
making love to her!… For sure I was going to miss that! J I really do have bad
luck with women… Can’t seem to keep a girl for three months before she dumps me
and moves on, leaving me confused and broken hearted. At least this time I
didn’t give Dixie my ring! Doesn’t matter, our break up hurt as much as all the
others! I’m not “going” with anymore girls! From now on I belong to the “4-F”
club, “Find-em,” “feel-Em,” “Fuck-Em,” and “Forget-Em.”.. That’s me J There is one more
thing I should say about my gorgeous girl, Dixie.. The whole time I was going
over to her house everyday after school, she was alone… she never said anything
about having a sister named Donna. So when I heard that a Donna Wright, her sister,
and their kids were killed by a train… I didn’t think it was Dixie, I didn’t
think Dixie had a sister so I just assumed the last name was a coincidence. It
was my kid sister who found out somehow that yeah, Donna’s sister was in fact
my beautiful angel eyes, Dixie……. L Well, what the hell…
At least by now I’m used to having a broken heart! I got up the next morning
and walked up to Lower Azusa Rd. and hitch hiked to school… Phillip corrupted
me! After that day we hitch hiked to Pudding Stone Dam, I started hitch hiking
everywhere! First of all, it was easier than riding my bike… Second, once I
started high school, suddenly, it was considered “uncool” to be seen riding a
bike! So, I gave my cool bike to Denny, my little brother. I now consider myself
to cool to ride a bike anywhere! We are in November, 1955! I’m alone again with
no one to kiss on, touch, or make mad passionate love too! Bummer! I got to
school early everyday. John got there not long after me! He didn’t ride the bus
either. His older brother had a car so John rode with him. But once they got to
school… It was the same old thing… John’s brother went to hang out with his
friends that were either juniors or seniors. John and I weren’t welcome! John’s
brother was a junior our freshman year. But that was ok we had our own “thing”
to do every morning. We stood just inside the main doors of the administration
building which is where the all the kids that rode the bus came through. This
way, we could check out all the pretty girls coming to school everyday!
I have other novels I've written:
1) "Kids that Kill."
2) "Orphan Vigilante"
3) "Called to Kill"
These can be purchased at www.amazon.com search the authors name (Barry Lee) or the title of the book! thanks!!
